BFM #239 - Avast Ya Scarvy S-cum!
Posted on September 29, 2008
Your about to embark on the journey of journeys all to mark International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Spirits were high as the crew bounded in to Drinkers (where I was named oh so long ago). A few of the faithful were sipping beers and watching the Phillies intently while others put finishing touches on their pirate adornments. I belonged to later group. I had a sword and eye patch but needed something for my head. Just then European On Me whirled me around and started putting black eye makeup on me. With eyes sufficiently blacken I ran into Jingle Ballzz and he mentioned that he had an extra bandana that she could give me and all set. Argh! Ready for the trail!
More swarthy souls pilled in and just then 2 Clump came by for a chat. After exchanging pleasantries and a hello to the little group I was standing in somehow in an instant as he was talking to Where’s My Vigina the prirates hook that Vigina had been holding crashed to the floor with a sharp snap and into pieces. "Gar!" someone say. "..already pillaging I see!". I know what you are thinking. 2 Clump shows up and things are broken and women are upset. He is an unassuming character right? I have seen the man pillage first hand and he can pillage the hell out of stuff. Just watch your loot or he’ll make you - Walk the plank!
As I gathered HASH names, the duty of all on secs, there started to be a sizable crowd gathering. I noticed many great costumes, including Mayor Quimby in a full Captain Morgan outfit - You want a little captain in ya? Ladies I heard in the Mayor’s case it is not that little. The other outfit that caught my eye was worn by this little man with a broad bumpy chest. As my eyes rose a smile came to my face. It was none other than the lily livered swash buckler - Little Red Riding Wood! In full pirate regalia. Puffy sleeves, knickers and boots. Ahoy Matey! There be treasure in them thar hills.
Who were the Li’ly libbered land lubbers who came?
Fruit of the Clue, Three Balls, Up Her Ali, Softcore Anal-ist, Scamming Old Ladies, Sex Tonight….Denied!, Son of Goat Fucker, European on Me, Flounder, Cause for Blindness, Fiber Opdick, Jingle Ballzzz, Two Clump Chump, Rear Engineer, Holy Fuck, Mediocre and Stupid, Big Tackle, Billy G Goat, Cherry Poppins, Just KT, Just Greg, Midnight Tranny to Georgia, Anal Probonor, Just Kim, One Night Only, Little Red Riding Wood, Popeye’s Bitch, Sloppy Ho, Fire Down Under, Where’s My Vagina?, Wonderblow, Hold the Sausage, Mayor Quimby, Short Distance Rimmer, Cleavage to Beaver, The S&M Man, The Rash, Nappy Headed Ho, Big Tackle
The trail - "X" marks the spot
Whenever leaving Drinkers or any place we HASH from that has outside seating we are bound to cause some attention to ourselves. This night just like other costume runs caused extra attention. Swords fanning, feathered hats, eye patches, puffy sleeves, puffy pants, hooting Argh! and Yo ho, yo ho, cut through the early evening air as unsuspecting diners tried to enjoy their supper. The crew was off to embark on their journey. Midnight Tranny shreeled with sword drawn a jovial Argh! on his way through the streets.
We angled to Front Street and I quickly noticed the normal ON-ON calls for this night had morphed into RRn-RRn in honor of the Talk Like A Pirate celebration. The group separated a bit as we headed back toward Broad. After a long straight away Cherry Poppins suggested that we may be heading back to the other Drinkers - good thought Cherry. We hit some Xes and trail then ran into a BN and back to an old favorite - McGillin’s Olde Ale House. As we turned the corner Fire Down Under yelled ahead to me and referring to me as my nerd name (I should have made her drink for that - ha-ha) as I turned around she was holding her eye exclaiming my contact is falling out. Like any good pirate I know a good deal about contact lenses. I ran to her but she noticed at that moment that it had folded a bit on her eye but it was easy enough to grab and pop back in - crisis averted. A good part of the crew shared a pint or two while I heard a small group of other hashers decided to head ON-IN or continue on trail.
Once done at McGillin’s we headed back over Broad and turned North through Chinatown and further east cutting through the little park at Race and 7th. Just before we crossed to the park Tranny happily Argh!-ing everything in sight waved his sword at security camera and bellowed a hardy Garrrrr! Rrrrrr! I later realized that the security cameras were those of the city jail. That could have put a damper on the pillaging and plundering if we had to have bailed out Tranny for disorderly pirating. However all’s well - Where’s the loot?!
The second stop was at Short Distance Rimmer old stomping grounds. We swilled our Rum and Jingle Balzz and I were treated to a very animated story by Cleavage to Beaver were she and S&M had to fight off a would be attacker. Pretty good story. You should ask her to tell you when you see her next time. With the RUM drank and half of us drunk the swarthy crew stumbled ON-IN.
Hare - Short Distance Rimmer, Hold the Sausage
Virgins - NONE
Cums Lately - European on Me, Scamming Old Ladies, Billy G Goat
Auto Hashers - Mayor Quimby, The Rash, Nappy Headed Ho, Big Tackle
Accusations -
SoftCore Anal-ist, Cleavage to Beaver - HASH Crash
Little Red Riding Wood - having a bigger boobs than normal
Mayor Quimby - for looking like Santa Claus pirate
Midnight Tranny to Georgia - The most rrrrr’s
Rear Engineer - Not talking like pirate
Best pirate costume - Little Red Riding Wood
Announcements - Cherry Poppins Birthday look for the e-mail
Over Heard at the HASH:
Watch my hook while I pee. - I got a chip on my shoulder a monkey on my back and a shot in my mouth. - I think your sword is happy to see me. - Beer makes me deaf. What?
Your boy,
SoftCore Anal-ist
Filed Under Trash |
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