BFM # 246 – Tri-f*ckta
Everyone comes to the BFM for their own reasons; the Beer, the metaphysical conversations, the virgins, and in the case of me, the trail. As you may have been able to tell from my previous trash, I have a very discriminating eye, or would it be foot?
Who Came:
Anal ProBoner, Big Tackle, Cause for Blindness, Cherry Poppins, Dr. Squeal Good, E=MC2, Flounder, Fruit of the Clue, Goes Down Often, Holy Fuck, Jingle Ballzzz, Just Amy, Just Aneta, Just Emily, Just K. T., Mayor Quimby, One Night Only, Pink n’ Puffy, Piss Cycle, Post Anal Drip, Raidr, Rear Engineer, Scamming Ol’ Ladies, Sloppy Ho, Softcore Analyst, Son of Goat Fucker, Strap On, The Rash, Two Clump Chump, Up Her Ali, Virgin Pimp, Where’s My Vagina?, Wonder Blow
The straws were distributed and from my understanding Scamming Ol’ Ladies pulled the short straw, what happened next is a bit of a mystery on par with Watergate or the Kennedy Assassination. Apparently Softcore Analyst escorted Scamming on his trail, later it was discovered that Just Aneta was also thrown in the mix.
The Trail:
Everyone gathered outside of the Field House for circle, that is everyone except an RA. Our illustrious GM was introducing the virgins as Virgin Pimp showed up, someone requested that the virgins be reintroduced for Pimp’s sake, but the request was ignored. With that, the pack was off south towards market st. As we were running Holy Fuck complained that the man-secs don’t do a good enough job of recording the trail. Being the obsequious man that I am, I like to entertain the pack‘s wishes, especially if I’m being Glamoured by a beautiful Harriet; however, this trail made it a bit difficult to keep track of. We made a turn heading east and soon discovered our hares made the all too common mistake of confusing checks with marks. The pack spent more time yelling “last mark” than “on-on”. We made our way along trail till we got caught up in a circle-jerk on a side street. Our extended stay made me realize that the road was made out of two by fours turned on end. Before I could impress the pack with my useless observation, someone found on-on. The trail progressed like this for some time till we found a beer check at the Locust Bar, a hash favorite. The pack filed in and started consuming beers while reprimanding the hares for their less than obvious trail. Now usually when there is a beer check late in the trail, the hare will on-in the most direct path, but normally we don’t have three hares arguing over which way to go. After some navigating the pack made their way back to the Field House, Just Aneta was overheard complaining that the pack was cuming from the wrong direction, ah to be new and naïve again. Just be glade the pack found their way back, take it from me.
Circle
For circle, we were afforded the upstairs, which was still not far enough away from some of the upscale sneers and snickers.
Hares: Scamming Ol’ Ladies, Softcore Analyst, Just Aneta
First in/ Last in: Piss Cycle/ Goes Down Often (she just wanted to drink for something, and Cause was auto hashing)
Virgins: Just Amy by Cherry Poppins, Just Emily by Anal ProBoner
Visitors: None
Cums Lately: Son of Goat Fucker, Pink and Puffy Rides the Huffy
Auto Hashers: Cause for Blindness, Jingle Ballzzz, Pink n’ Puffy, Raidr, Rear Engineer, The Rash, Up Her Ali, Where’s my Vagina
Accusations
Piss Cycle for tech on trail
Wonder Blow for wearing tights, and under when one person in tights Just Amy, Just K. T., Scamming, Holy Fuck, Cherry Poppins, Just Aneta
Two Clump Chump for making a necklace for Goes Down Often when she just got named (I think Sloppy Ho was jealous that I wouldn’t give her a pearl necklace) and under when one on-sec, Softcore, and under when one Hare, Just Aneta, and Scamming
Goes down often drank for making a false accusation (she’s new give it time)
Scamming for life alert on trail, and under when one hare, Softcore, and Mayor Quimby was a designated drinker for Just Aneta who had apparently had enough
Announcements
The habidasher is at it again, custom polar fleece vests, see The Rash for details
Philly Full Moon: November 14th at Bonners
James Bond Midnight showing after BFM 247 see Just K T for details
Philly Marathon Beer Check: more info to follow
With that it was announced we had another naming due. Just K.T. was called into the circle and put to her knees. Rear Engineer proceeded to tell us a vague story of how he was duped (with a little help from myself and G D O)into thinking that K.T. was married… to a woman. Then the questions began and we discovered that she is a TA and may or may not have slept with a professor. After several enticing names were suggested we settled on Sextra Credit.
With that, Circle was closed.
Over Heard at the Hash
Goes Down Often “It’s like Joy, on my face”
Holy Fuck “That trail was as useless as a Cockroach”
Sextra Credit “That’s the second longest I’ve ever been on my knees” *
On, on,
Two Clump Chump
* This quote may have been modified from its original version
“our hares made the all too common mistake of confusing checks with marks.” -
How is it possible to confuse an X with a mark? And how is this common???
gets me every time!