BFM 248: It was so cold that….
We had to chop up the piano for firewood, but we only got two chords
Your long suffering on-sec shivered over to the institute and actually arrived there early. It took a few minutes to defrost and start talking with Just Whitney waiting at the bar with a couple of shifty foreigners. Eventually the rest of the hashers arrived, and Rear Engineer reluctantly rounded us up outside for chalk talk, and we set out very quickly and in big groups in search of trail. Even Just Brutus was wearing a jacket on top of a fur coat.
Trail went past several abandoned buildings, burnt out cars and miscellaneous trash. For some reason I had flashbacks of probably one of the best movies ever made, but that’s neither here nor there. Trail continued onward through Chinatown and the greyhound bus station where we got completely lost for about 10 minutes before figuring out that somehow we had to get to Broad Street. Beer Near was spotted at Spring garden. I’d never been inside before, but apparently He’s a Lesbian, still has connections at the FOP. While we were there, somebody thought it was very important to tell me that they once were molested by a british paratrooper. Seriously people, learn your stereotypes. Britannia was built on buggery, Russians love the vodka, and Brazilians are easy. . Its not that complicated kids.
Cheap good beer was had by all, and a surprising amount of shuffleboard was played. I saw Piss Cycle charm an older gentleman out of a whole stack of cookies. I’m not going to speculate about what promises were made, but it looked like both parties left that transaction happy. The rest of us shuffled back to the warm bar, to enjoy beer and circle
Who Came:
Twin Peaks, Yorky Porky, Sextra Credit, Goes Down Often, Hold the Rimmer, Just Greg, Big Tackle, 3 Balls, He’s a Lesbian, Just Whitney, Every Man I Blow, 2 Clump Chump, Dirty Sanchez, Dr Squeelgood, The Rash, Popeye’s Bitch, Big Tackle, Cherry Poppins, Little Red Riding Wood, Can you hear me now?, Wonderblow, Cleavage to Beaver, Just Dave, Just John, Nappy Headed Ho, Virgin Pimp, Cunting Season, Fruit of the Clue, Post Anal Drip, Just Brutus, Piss Cycle, Just Blyth, Just Jen. Just Sean
Circle:
Hare’s: 2 Clump, Lick Hymen (not enough body cavity searches at FOP)
Virgins: Just Jen – Blythe
Just Sean – Dr Squeelgood
Visitors: Twin Peaks and Yorky Porky.
Long time no seers: Just Whitney/Blythe
First in/Last In: LRRW and Pisscycle
Autohash – Just Blythe, He’s a Lesbian, Skinfiddle, Nappy Headed Ho, Virgin Pimp, Dr Squeelgood, Rash, Popeye’s Bitch, Big Tackle, Cherry Poppins,
Violations – Popeye for getting a new job in SF
Twin Peaks and Yorky Porky for bringing the awful London weather with them
Nappy for texting his mom in circle
Goes Down Often – hash crash
Somebody – overzealous shuffleboard behaviour
Just Blythe – hat in circle
Just Greg- keeping his obvious racism under wraps
Big Tackle – for needing a hose job before he was willing to leave the bar
Naming: We had a naming this circle. Just Blythe was brought out to the circle. Apparently she went to school a lot, and is from Eagleville. Her favorite farm animal is a cow, and her favorite position is similarly uninspired. She does love the cucumber though, and aside from turning the odd ex-boyfriend gay, is totally normal. The hash went around and around the naming suggestions, and was strangely quiet and well behaved at the naming. Somebody has been slipping roofies in the beer again apparently. After much deliberation, we settled on Brokeback Pipe, and all was well in the world.
Announcements:
Everyday – Mustache Club Competition. Its on bitches! Are you a Frida Kahlo? Or a General Burnside?
Nov 26th BFM bar crawl at Mcgillans. Karaoke at 9pm. Earplugs optional but strongly recommended
Nov 27th BFM #249 – 11am Mace’s Crossing. Rear End Loader and Cunting Season will be setting trail
Dec 4th BFM # 250 – 730PM More fun than you can shake your stick at
Dec 6th PH3 hosted by RaidR in Havertown
Dec 11th Festivus – 730PM The bar crawl for the rest of us.
Dec 13th PH3 – hosted by Over Easy and the women’s rugby team
Dec 13th Running of the Santas – like hashing, but with a 2 block run, and a lot more half-minds.
Dec 18th Christmas Lights – 730PM Watch gaudy light shows in south philly; It’s how Jesus would have wanted it.
Dec 19th BJH3 run #8 Hared by Spooner somewhere in the wilds across the Delaware river
Dec 25th – Christmas and maybe a Pick up Hash
Jan 1st – The Mummers Day Joint Hash with Philly and Hockessin
Haberdashery – E has PH3 hats for 12$. He’s willing to do “anything” to sell them; Make him an offer he can’t refuse.
I’ve been spending more time than I would like with the TNT hash, and in the interest of intercultural exchange, I’d like to introduce some important concepts I learned from their on-sec
Beeriod (n) – weekly malady suffered by men after a night “on the pop”
Symptoms Include: Headache, Moodiness and a bloated stomach,
“Leave me alone woman, my beeriod started this morning”
Beer Monkey (n) – a mythical simian creature which during a drunken slumber, sneaks into your bed, ruffles your hair, steals your money, and craps in your mouth
Beer Mugger (n) – the man you discover has hit you over the head and taken 35 out of your wallet the morning after you “nip out for a couple pints”
Jingle Ballzzz
Umm, I’m pretty sure we decided on Brokeback Pipes… someone back me up? I don’t think I’m making this up.
Great Cyborg clip! I love that movie. Oh, not to be a pita, but I ran trail.