BFM #271 Tabhair dom an rud céanna mar atá ag an fhear ar an t-úrlar!
The Bar: Gallagher’s
The Mob: The Rash, We’re Not Voting, Hold the Sausage, Short Distance Rimmer, Big Tackle, Fruit of the Clue, Ass Ventura, Deep Discunt, Target, Nappy Headed Ho, Midnight Tranny, Wonder Blow, Soft-core Analist, H2Ho, Working Girl, Son of a Goatfucker, Goes Down Often, Silence of the Clam, Rear Engineer, Cleavage to Beaver, Just Greg, Lizardo, Bonsai Bush, Mediocre & Stupid, Swollen Cockpit, Post Anal Drip, Beefcake Stroke-it-off, Sextra Credit, Just Jen, Just Caleb, Just Brian, Just Becky, Skin Fiddle, Jingle Ballzzz, Cousin It, Subcuntinent, Holy Fuck, Bumble Beaver, Snap off, One Inch In, Shitty Day, Virgin Pimp, Can You Hear Me Now
The Trail: The hares laid chalk-talk marks near the entrance of the bar, but due to a new Anti-Half-Mind city ordinance, our civic-minded Grand Master, Rear Engineer, had to lead the pack at least 50 feet away from the front door. In absence of flour, Rear, in a very masculine way, demonstrated the marks through interpretive dance, and then ungently sent the mob into the good night.
The pack charged west along the Parkway when a check appeared near the Rocky (aka Art Museum) stairs. The Rash, seeing a few stray marks, headed straight to the top of the steps, yawning at the predictability of the trail, life, the universe, and everything. Ah Rash! Ah, Humanity!
But wait…the hares had a surprise: about halfway up the steps, they laid a true trail arrow pointing south. After some meandering, the mob eventually caught on and trail resumed. Another check appeared at the beginning of the Spring Garden Bridge, which is also the top of an almost slightly treacherous hill. Several hashers peered down the hill, twiddled their thumbs, stared blankly, declared, “I’m not going down there” and wet themselves before a brave harriette dared to descend and found the next check.
Trail then led up a newly constructed jackknife ramp which stretches across a truly perilous rockface before meandering its way toward Krupa’s where hashers enjoyed a much deserved beer check. Some followed trail back to the bar while others went directly On-In. After an evening of peril and drama, the mob was geared up for the
Circle
The Hares: Hold the Sausage, Short Distance Rimmer
The Virgins: Just Brian (Wonder Blow), Just Jen (Ibid), Just Caleb (Ibid), Just Melissa (Just Julie), Just Becky (Midnight Tranny), Just Kelly (Shitty Day)
The Visitor: Lizardo (opted to show a body part and in return received a resounding “Wax that ass!” from the crowd)
The FRB: Silence of the Clam
The DFLs: Deep Discunt, One Inch In
Cums Latelys: Skin Fiddle, Sextra Credit, Post Anal Drip, LRRW (Goes Down Often for when one On Sec drinks…)
Autohashers: Skin Fiddle, Fruit of the Clue, Jingle Ballzzz, Cousin It, Holy Fuck, Subcuntinent, Bumble Beaver
Accusations:
Fruit of the Clue for kicking Rocky Balboa
Little Red Riding Wood for being named after the bar (Goes Down Often and The Rash for when one On Sec drinks…)
The Rash for impersonating a Texan (Goes Down Often and LRRW for when one On Sec drinks…)
Working Girl for r*nning the Boston Marathon in under 3 hours
Shitty Day and Fruit of the Clue for something or other (Subcuntinent and Just Melissa for when one Texan drinks…)
Sausage had a Birthday Side-Side
Virgin Pimp as a late cumming autohasher (all autohashers drank)
Post Anal Drip for wearing a r*cist shirt
Announcements:
May 8th – Philly Full Moon H3 @ Krupa’s (27th and Brown). It’s a BASH, so don’t forget to bring a helmet, and if you have one, a bicycle.
June 11th – BFM 5th Annual Prom
If you were strip searched between 2003 and 2007 in the city of Philadelphia Prison System, you may be eligible to receive $3,000 from a class action suit. More details at www.PhiladelphiaStripSearch.com
On, On,
LRRW
this trash was way late. that’s a down down if ever there was call to cast one against an onsec.