I should actually be doing homework, so no elaborate intro rant. But I did find some old hash notes that suggested a BFM Talent Show, so talk amongst yourselves: Is this a Good Idea?  A Good Idea only after 4 or 5 beers?  A Bad Idea that will inevitably end with 30 people performing “Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus: The Armpit Fart Rendition”? Discuss.

 

Eh, whatever.  This night’s hash found the Mob at Westy’s. (I think.) (Not like you can remember, either.) Showing up were Just Bill, Mayor Quimby, Mediocre and Stupid, Two Clump Chump, Jingle Balzzz, Just Ed, Scammin Ole Ladies, The Rash, Up Her Ali, Hold the Sausage, Twat of Darkness, Fruit of the Clue, Rear Engineer, Softcore Analyst, Where’s My Vagina, Grab My Handlbars, Son of a Goatf*cker, Bonsai Bush, Tube Cock, Virgin Pimp, Wonder Blow, Fire Down Under, Midnight Tranny to Georgia.

 

Mediocre & Stupid pulled the short straw, and Mayor Quimby thoughtfully volunteered to go with her. They headed out the door and proceeded to lay trail. A few minutes later, the Mob wandered listlessly out the door and barely paid attention to chalk talk.  Upon being told to look for trail, the pack stood and stared blankly at each other. Then at the sidewalk.  Then at each other again before shuffling off to find trail in much the same way that a little kid gets sent to his room.  At any rate, the Mob found trail mostly, except for the bit where they got distracted by the woman getting arrested, which led to the pack locating the beer check before the hares.  After swilling beer in Rear Engineer’s parking lot, the pack was off again back to the bar and to conduct a quick circle in the adjacent parking lot.

 

Circle:

Hare: Mediocre & Stupid, Mayor Quimby

First In/Last In: Bonsai Bush, Just Bill, Jingle Balzzz, Scammin Ole Ladies

Comes Latelies: Mayor Quimby, Wonder Blow, and under the When One Hare Drinks Rule, Twat of Darkness standing in as a stunt liver for Mediocre & Stupid

Autohashers: Post Anal Drip, Swollen Cockpit, Midnight Tranny, Two Clump Chump, Rear Engineer, The Rash, and under the When One Cock Drinks rule, Tube Cock

 

Accusations:

Tech on Trail: Mayor Quimby

For Booting in Circle: Mediocre & Stupid, with Bonsai Bush as stunt liver

Changing her Shirt: Twat of Darkness

Running on a Broken Foot: Post Anal Drip

Cigarette on Trail: Just Bill

And for Various Farmville Things: Hold the Sausage, Fruit of the Clue, Two Clump, Bonsai Bush, and Swollen Cockpit

For Finishing School: Post Anal Drip

 

And finally, I just want to say thank heavens we were outside because one of you wankers was letting loose with garlic burps that could’ve taken the paint off walls.

 

Overheard at the Hash

Just Bill: I’m about to take my pants off.

 

Female hasher: My hip’s been bothering me.

Male Hasher: Your hip’s been bothering me.

 

Rear Engineer to Mayor Quimby: Ok, let’s get you off.

 

On On,

The Rash