BFM# 294 The Best Hash Bar in South Philly!
The best Hash bar in South Philly: Johnny’s, Johnny’s,
The best Hash bar in South Philly: Johnny, Johnny Bear’s!
Johnny, Johnny Bear’s!
Johnny, Johnny Bear’s!
The best Hash bar in South Philly: Johnny, Johnny Bear’s!
Yes, that’s right. This week we gathered at the Hash oasis South of Snyder Ave. known as Johnny Bear’s, where the beers are cold, the grill is hot, and the neighbors don’t call the cops when we circle outside. It is here and here only where we can sing “Free Beer for all the Hashers” in front of devout Catholics and get nothing in return other than mildly disapproving smiles.
Who came you may ask? Plenty: Slyfox, The Rash, 2 Clump Chump, Rear Engineer, Midnight Trannny to Georgia, Flounder, Cause for Blindness, Tube Cock, Wonder Blow, Soft-core Analyst, Grab My Handlebars, Sleeps Around the Cock, Working Girl, Just Karen, Bonsai Bush, Goes Down Often, Cleavage to Beaver, Scooby Snatch, Just Tristan, Dumpster, Just Bill, Keep Your Tits to Yourself, Just Christie, Just Caleb, Target
Trail was apparently filled with orange Halloween lights and malodorous (yet surprisingly) non-Hasher smells. Fortunately I had a cold and auto-hashed, so I couldn’t smell much of anything, but I could still drink a lot.
Circle was led by Special Guest Star Midnight Tranny to Georgia:
Hare: 2 Clump Chump (trail: Not enough Elvis)
1st In: Dumpster
Last In: Cause 4 Blindness
Virgin: Just Christie (Wonder Blow)
Cums Latelies: Wonder Blow, Slyfox, KYTTY, Just Tristan
Auto-Hashers: Rear, GDO, Cleavage to Beaver, LRRW, The Rash
Accusations
Scooby falsely accused GDO of not drinking her auto-hasher down-down
Working Girl accused 2 Clump, saying” No one called the cops on me in this neighborhood, but they called the cops on you.”
Cleavage and GDO for r*nning at the track instead of on trail
GDO- alcohol abuse
Twat of Darkness for not slapping enough asses tonight
The Rash for having her 10th paper published (1st as a leading author)
Cause for whining about arrows on trail instead of checks
Target as a new arrival
MediStu for new shoes
Bonsai and Tube Cock for being homeless
Scooby for being a r*cist
Just Caleb for being afraid that he might have to hare
Announcements:
GDO‘s B-day is approaching. Carousing details may or may not be on FaceBook.
After the Circle, Johnny grilled up an awesome feast for the BFM of pleasingly large sausages, chicken, and hamburgers. Then the Mob gathered around beer-filled coolers and crooned late into the night. Which reminds me that people should learn the lyrics to a few of the post-Circle songs. Some examples:
The S & M man (S&M Man, you are of course exempt.)
But your duties don’t end just there. We need new, catchy, clever songs brought to the Hash. So, there, you all have at least one thing to occupy yourselves with until next Thursday.
Overheard at the Hash:
Harriette #1: How was trail? Was there anything interesting?
Harriette #2: It smelled like puke by the beer check.
Ass is almost as good as sex.
Here, we have mostly girls, but all bitches!
Local: So, what are you called?
Rear: My name is Rear Engineer.
Local: Uh-Oh. Watch out for the Caboose!
Hasher: Are you on Valtrex?
Harriette: No. Wanna fuck?
LRRW
Oh My Bimbo
(to the tune of ‘Oh Susannah’)
I hashed around the city
in the summer’s high degree,
The beercheck was a pity
’cause the beer was Genesee.
Oh my bimbo
Shed a tear for me
For what I drank at the beercheck
It tasted just like pee.
The trail was long
The weather dry
Feet were burning coal
And when I saw the beercheck
It was soothing to my soul
There it was in a tub of ice
For everyone to see
Up close though it weren’t so nice
’cause the beer was Genesee.
Oh my bimbo
Shed a tear for me
For what I drank at the beercheck
It tasted just like pee.