BFM #315: Sweet as Sugar, Tough as downing a PBR Pounder
There are some times when you just know that the hash is a warm and fuzzy place, like that place where everybody knows your name (and you don’t get offended when they call you “c*ck” or “hoe” or “cunt”). For me, this was one of those nights – I think there are hash bars that we each feel fondly about – maybe the site of your first hash, or where you got named, or where you made out with a hot hasher in the corner that you didn’t regret – and, a week away from my hashiversary, I know that Sugar Mom’s is one of those bars for me.
So my finger elephant and I (ok, mine wasn’t nearly that elaborate but you gotta find something to do while babysitting prior to a hash) headed to the land of PBR and coloring books at Sugar Mom’s to find Goes Down Often, Target, Porn to Fail, Seize’er TiTs, Whiskey D*ck, Just Jose, Tube C*ck, Softcore Analist, Son of Goatf*ucker, Big Tackle, The S & M Man, One Night Only, Cause for Blindness, Flounder, Slutty When Wet, Just the Brown Tip, Fire Down Under, Mr. Snufflupamuff, Two Clump Chump, Midnight Tranny to Georgia, ChernoBlow, Queef, Cunting Season, SubCuntinent, Scooby Snatch, Sleeps Around the C*ck, Fiber OpD*ck – with He’s a Lesbian, Just Dan and Shefelta Fish arrived later.
With toys on the table and coloring books abound, the mob was off after Sleeps Around the C*ck grabbed the short straw and wrangled Big Tackle into co-haring. The Mob stuck around with PBR pounders in hand, down-downed the cans, and headed out into the cold. The hares did well to stay out of the danger zone and Midnight Tranny’s arrest record was safe for another night. And jut around the corner from Chez Cleavage to Beaver and S & M Man, the DFL half of the mob hung back to make sure Target was alright after a bit of a hash crash. In addition to the coloring books (always a good choice), this was a warm fuzzy. It’s nice to know that the mob takes care of their own. And once the mob was back on the road, back to Sugar Mom’s we went.
Circle
Hares: Sleeps Around the C*ck and Big Tackle
First In/Last In: 2 Clump Chump, One Night Only and Porn to Fail
Cums Latelys: He’s a Lesbian, Cunting Season, SubCuntinent, and Queef
Autohashers: Mr. Snufflupamuff, Fiber OpD*ck, He’s a Lesbian, Just Dan and Shefelta Fish
Accusations
For trying to Accuse Tube C*ck of having a hand in Canada’s ass-clenching win over the US in (their sport) Hockey when the Olympics are over (false accusation): Just Jose
For trying to Accuse Seize’er TiTs if coloring before Circle (acceptable hash behavior): Tube C*ck
For doing a Dancin’ Fool impression on trail and dumpster diving for an empty picture frame: One Night Only
For trying to lead the mob to back to Sugar Mom’s for a beer check: Goes Down Often
For trying to glue back together a broken rubber: Goes Down Often
For being a voyeur and autohashing and being overall creepy for being We’re Not Voting’s non-virgin: Just Dan
(which was followed by the fast version of “Someone’s in my Sister’s Vagina”)
For having bruises on his legs that didn’t come from a hash crash: Tube C*ck
(and somehow the R*cists didn’t drink…Hmmm, funny how an RA was to drink and it mysteriously got skipped)
For pumping his arm like he was starting a lawn mower for “Someone’s in my Sister’s Vagina”: Mr. Snufflupamuff
For once again talking about butt sex on trail, in the form of anal beads: The S & M Man
Announcements
Midnight Tranny wanted to make sure we were aware of the Green Dress run…this Saturday, 3/13…$35…sh*t ton of beer…men in dresses…hot.
After buying way too much beer, Mr. Snufflupamuff let us know that we needed to drink up!
The S & M Man wants to send his love and kisses (and hash herp) to One Inch In for a swift recovery for his shoulder surgery.
And apparently, Scooby is a golden god who likes boobies – go figure.
Overheard at the Hash
Goes Down Often (to Seize’er TiTs): “You wanna do me next??”
ChernoBlow: “I like my stool!”
Tube C*ck (probably of Bonsai Bush): “She uses her throat, not her lungs…”
After circle, much fun was had by all – with PBR pounders, tater tots, and crayons? Who couldn’t have a rockin’ time. Warm fuzzies turned into mostly joking, groping, and much drunkenness, so it was clear that the night was coming to a close. Green dress pre-lube, here we come!
On-on,
Grab My Handlebars
Wow. That Finger Elephant link was waaaaaayyyyyy NSFW. Maybe just a little “NSFW” warning, in the future? Some of us don’t want to get fired.
Link fixed, image only – I didn’t realize the whole link was so scandalous. Sorry about that!