And now some dirty golf trivia:

When is it considered acceptable hash behavior to double fist to make up for botching a hole?

 At the Inaugural Ben Franklin Mob Invitational Golf Tournament!

 Clad in their plaid and argyle finery, the mob set out from McGillins on a recent Thursday night with a goal to keep their pars low and their standards lower in the name of a golf-themed bar crawl.

 Who came: Two Clump Chump, Midnight Tranny to Georgia, Grab My Handlebars, Just Jose, Slutty When Wet, Just Shannon, Bumble Beaver, Just Morgan, Just Danielle, Heave Ho, Little Fucking Winkie, Porn to Fail, Flounder, Cause for Blindness, Cleavage to Beaver, the S & M Man, Just the Brown Tip, Piss Cycle, Kevin’s Virgin, Just Mike, Where’s My Vagina, Just Tara, Just Jason

 Players were greeted with a very official-looking score card (thanks to the logistical geniuses of Grab My Handlebars and Midnight Tranny) which featured scores on the left hand side of the card and challenges on the right. I think I can speak for more than a handful of half minds when I say that since I never played a game of golf in my life, let alone know what a bogey is (hehe, looks like boogey!), I was pretty impressed. So were many a hasher when they crawled into the second bar (Oscars) and caught wind of the special: a “big beer” and a shot of tequila for under eight bucks. As Scooby Snatch would say, Yatzee!

 Things took a colorful turn when the pack crawled onward to Tavern on Carmac, set in the heart of the gayborhood. Since they weren’t serving food, grabbing a nosh was a no-go (required here to stay on par), so the pack dispersed, checking out the bar’s various nooks. Upstairs was a bumping club, downstairs a chill bar. Sandwiched in the middle is what can be best described as something of a mirrored cabaret, complete with Just Shannon belting out a Les Miserables song with the piano player. 

 Onward and upward the pack went to Good Dog, where there was a circle:

 Hare: Midnight Tranny to Georgia

 Virgins: Just Shannon, Just Jason, Just Tara, Just Morgan, Just Danielle

 Cums Latelies: Cleavage to Beaver, Little Fucking Winkie, Tickle My Elmo, Lick Hymen, Bumble Beaver

 Accusations: Porn to Fail accused Midnight Tranny for apparently knowing specifically where we were going next. As if we didn’t have a cheat sheet in our little hands!

 Speaking of hands, Two Clump Chump was accused of being mistaken for Michael Jackson on trail with his solo left-handed white glove. (But is he left-hand dominate all the time?)

 Two Clump accused Lick Hymen for being known by name by several patrons at the gay bar.

 Handlebars bestowed the Tiger Woods award to Bumble Beaver for brining the most bitches on trail with her.

 S &M Man accused Cause for Blindness for sticking her chesticles in the piano players face at the gay bar. I’m pretty sure afterward the whole bar accused the piano player of liking it.

 Best Dressed:

 Despite Where’s my Vagina’s AWESOMELY bad plaid pants (only in San Fran could you find trousers like that), and Cleavage to Beaver’s cleavage almost successful in marching free, it was the S &M Man took home the coveted strawberry-flavored Boone’s Farm for best dressed. His award-winning came complete with a kilt, a pom-pom  hat and not much else.

 Announcements: There’s stuff happening somewhere at sometime with some people. BFM Prom is June 10.

 PA Interhash is Sept. 17, 18, and 19 in PHILADELPHIA! 

 Overheard at the Hash:

Rando from Tavern on the Camac: “Can we officially call them bawdy and ridiculous?”

 “Well, OK.”

 Fun and Random Golf Trivia from the side of your scorecard, courtesy of Grab My Handlebars:

 –A “bump and run” describes when a ball is hit into the air towards a target and then “bumps” into the ground and “rolls” the rest of the way towards its target.

 –A”Foursome” is a form of stroke play. There is typically a competition where two competitors play as partners with one ball.

 –An “Out-to-in-blow” is another way of saying “Coming over the top” which describes the movement of the club as it travels through the downswing and into a right-to-left pathway across the ball. (For those of you who are right hand dominate.)

 –A “hosel” is the part of the clubhead which attaches to the shaft of the club. 

On-on,

Mediocre and Stupid