You know, this hash is getting a little predictable. Flat beer, shitty trail, an ass-ton of couples, some over-achievers and, if it’s a good night, a letch or two. You can count on Cause for Blindness saying more than you ever wanted to know about her boobs, getting hit on by Two Clump Chump (that’s mostly for the ladies) or Cleavage to Beaver (that’s mostly towards the ladies too), and Big Tackle (or Big Tickle as I’ve heard he’s called) is sure to tell a damn good story. Some’ll get accused for messing up the marks on trail and we’ll try to name someone ‘Takes it Up the Ass like Stan’ or Wrong Turn to Brown Town (oh wait, that one actually stuck) – but where’s that old hash spark? Where’s the interesting and exciting thing that used to be hashing? Is this like a long-term relationship, where the new stuff is exciting just because it’s new? Yea, Probably. If you’re not sure, you could ask Where’s my Vagina?, Bonsai Bush, Rear Engineer, Can You Hear Me Now?, Softcore Analist, Flounder, Cause for Blindness, Itemized Seduction, Mr. Snuffleupamuff, One Inch In, Son of Goatf*cker, Post-Anal Drip, Seiz’er TiTs, Midnight Tranny to Georgia, SheFelta Fish, Swollen C*ckpit, Tube C*ck, Big Tackle, Whisky D*ck, Just Anne, Heave Ho, and autohashers Sternum and Rectum, Hold the Sausage, Sleeps Around the C*ck, Two Clump Chump, Short Distance Rimmer, and Just Tommy ala Grab My Handlebars.

 

So tonight, as usual, trail was good – clearly I can say that because I, well, autohashed. There was some discussion that it was too short, and too long, and too hot, and too predictable but people got lost. It was at our usual haunt, Bonners, and stopped at our favorite hang out for 18 year-old suits, Westies. So since there’s nothing else remarkable to say about trail, you guessed it…

 

Circle

Hares: Mr. Snuffleupamuff, who was caught by (you guessed it) Son of Goatf*cker

…not hot enough….

Virgins: Just Tommy ala Grab My Handlebars

First/Last In: Just Anne and (you guessed it) Cause for Blindness

Cums Latlies: Whisky D*ck, Can You Hear Me Now?, SheFelta Fish, Sternum and Rectum, and (you guessed it) Swollen C*ckpit.

Autohashers: Sternum and Rectum, Two Clump Chump, Just Tommy, Grab My Handlebars, and (you guessed it) Hold the Sausage, Sleeps Around the C*ck, and Short Distance Rimmer.

 

Accusations

For being racists: Bonsai Bush, Tube C*ck, Seizer TiTs, and One Inch In for Tri’ing too hard, Grab My Handlebars for thinking 100 miles on a bike was a good idea, Heave Ho and Big Tackle for the recent mud run, and Flounder, for something awesome but unstated …

For referring to the hash as a ‘race’: Softcore Analist

For not drinking beer but instead ‘saving his appetite for later’: Just Tommy

For ripping his pants, showing his ass, and not being anywhere near the Gayberhood: Big Tackle

For riding 100 miles and not even falling off her bike: Grab My Handlebars

For being the first to RSVP to every event on Fb: Softcore Analist

For…well, we’re not sure because Post-Anal Drip couldn’t stop laughing long enough to get her accusation of Hold the Sausage, after having called her “Hold My Sausage” – so she drank for it.

For stuffing her bra with fabric sheets so that her goods smelled fresh: Where’s My Vagina?

For knowing that there was Downy goodness in Where’s My Vagina’s Bra: Just Anne

For racing to beat Cause for Blindness and Whisky D*ck back to the bar: Shefelta Fish

For wearing his bike shorts inside out (bright orange, for matter) and not knowing it: Softcore Analist

For having neither an IV not HIV (not really sure how that one happened): Seiz’er TiTs

For…something that was lost in the sound of the mob, accusing Itemized Seduction of something.

 

Announcements

Hold the Sausage: Attend the upcoming Full Moon AGM! Kegs Lack of Talent Show, $25. Next Saturday.

Mr. Snuffleupamuff: Fronted the $$$ for shirts, so either pick up your or buy more. Now.

 

…And although announcements were started, circle was reopened for (you guessed it)

More Accusations!

For being tee-shirt [5]: Bonsai Bush, Mr. Snuffleupamuff, Tuck C*ck, Two Clump Chump, and Softcore Analist

For thinking it was just a ‘tee-shirt’: Short Distance Rimmer

For not thinking with his head – he biked but didn’t shower (this time he was really, you guessed it, drinking to drink): Softcore Analist

 

Overheard on Trail

“Spandex, not just for your ass” – Indecipherable at this point….

 

“Yea, she’s got a big bunch of keys” – Cause for Blindness

“Yea, it makes her ass look big” – Flounder

(of, did you guess it…? Grab My Handlebars)

 

 

On-On,

Grab My Handlebars