Where: Boxer's PHL
Hare: Shop 'n Fuck
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However, to name a few, we can examine the following highlights from BFM #639:
- Record number of hashers for a non [n/50] event: 68 hashers
- Record number of unnamed "Justs": 25
- Record number of virgins: 7
- Record number of virgins cumming at the hands of a single hasher: 4 virgins via Just Brittany.
- Record number or conventional checks on trail: ZERO
In fact, so momentous was the occasion, that this former RA was asked to emerge from retirement to fill a cameo RA slot and pay tribute to Hot Cocklate's spirit. I had to shake off some rust, having not addressed the pack in, I don't know, 114 days or so (not that I'm counting). But I swear, I'm adjusting well to LARA (life-after RA'ing), at least, that's what my therapist and AA sponsor keep telling me. All things considered, I think it went well.
As expected, the trail (pictured above) delivered some epic sights and sounds, laid by the industrious and brilliantly-bearded Shop 'n Fuck. There were multiple opportunities for fountain swimming, which several hashers took advantage of, as well as a multitude of song-checks and scores of confused civilians. The highlight, of course, was the cascading barrage of ass-spankings dealt to Hot Cocklate on trail... I SHALL NEVER WASH THIS HAND!
The requisite intermezzo brought the pack to a breathtaking outdoor beer near atop one of Philadelphia's most historic and scenic parking garages, which saw: a water balloon battle, an impromptu dance party, one frozen ass, and the most ambitious rendition of "Jesus Saves" that this hasher can recall in ages.
As I investigated the evening's Flash archive in more depth, I discovered a theme that consistently ran through the night's events... An inspiring collection of acrobatic action shots! See more below! (Honorable Mention goes to Fort Dix's mashup of a Spiderman sneak-attack, Trinity's signature Matrix time-bending drop-kick, and the insufferable Fly-Eagles-Fly mantra)
While there were a couple instances of lost control of the circle, SOTG took them in stride. All-in-all, the fragile circle, 68-hashers strong, was deftly maintained by the now veteran SOTG, with her unbreakable will, penetrating voice, and stern directive to "SHUT THE FUCK UP MUTHA FUCKAS, I'M MUTHA FUCKIN' IN CHARGE HERE!"
Gag Reflex Out
** #639 is a 2016 Trail of the Year Nominee