Sex Toys for Tots
Just Marcus
Visitor:
Lips of Steel
Virgins (aka spies from the Mayor's Cup:
Just Freddy
Just Liz
Everyone Else:
Beef Jerkless
Blink 5'2
Cause for Blindness
Cockmaster and Commander
Fannypacker
Flounder
Fort Dixalot
Horny Hands
Just Camilla
Just Colin
Just Dima
Just Imoni
Just Joe
Just Krispy
Just Mark
Just Matt
Just Ryan
Lance AssStrong
MacGyver MuffDiver
Pantyphyle
Quick Exit 2
Silence of the Goats
Slothy Seconds
Spare My Finger
UpperCunt
Like a less attractive but equally perplexed Bill Murray repeatedly waking up in Punxsutawney, PA on Groundhog Day, the pack found ourselves mysteriously in Drinkers' Tavern for the second week in a row. Also for the second week in a row, Sex Toys for Tots hared a little jaunt out to the Race St. Pier. He learned a few lessons and made a few changes from the week prior:
1) He subbed in Just Marcus to replace last week's Just Jonathan as co-hare (has he made hashing/haring with him a job requirement for his supervisees? Is this legal? Can we make the rest of the pack do that?).
2) He actually brought his camera this week. While he hared, he let Silence of the Goats carry it to get great shots of Just Ryan's body looking super broken while jumping.
3) SoTG somehow didn't drop the camera! This wasn't a lesson learned from last week but it's pretty surprising given her hash crash record, and all that hard work and focus shouldn't go unnoticed.
We were joined by two very special virgins, Just Freddy and Just Liz, of Mayor's Cup Challenge fame. They are racing each other, with bets placed for Philly charities, to be the first to run with every run group in the Mayor's Cup. They totally had fun with us. They are down to the single digits of clubs left to hit, but it's not too late to place a bet: http://phillymayorscup.com/freddy-vs-liz-the-challenge
While we are on the subject: if you haven't already, you should put on your racist shoes and register for one of the Mayor's Cup races! Doesn't matter how fast or slow you'll be, just matters that you get out there, try to make yourself a little bit better, undo that by drinking lots of beer after, and have fun! Rego here (use the password Cheltenham) for any event: http://phillymayorscup.com/register
We celebrated three Hashy Birthdays with side-sides for UpperCunt, Sex Toys for Tots, and Just Joe. Mayor's Cup Virgin Liz was very helpful with all three, unlike Fort Dixalot, who fed the birthday boys TWO beers through his beer bong without telling them. The nerve of that guy.
Probably lots of other things happened, but we didn't notice there were no on-secs in attendance until after the fact (apparently all of our on-secs are cool and go to Firefly), so no one wrote anything down. We definitely had a circle, though. There was PBR. People had accusations, and they were mostly funny. Here is one: Blink 5'2, after seeing literally hundreds of dragonflies mating on a tubing trip, said, "Donald Dick, why does that fly have two heads?" Kids, if you need someone to explain the birds and the bees, don't pick DD.
Hoping you all woke up the next morning freed from the glitch in the space-time continuum (and not filled with regret that Punxsutawney Phil was in bed with you AGAIN, even though you swore last time was the last time...),
Slothy Seconds