Two In The Sink None In The Pink, Just Dave (Jesus), Just Beth, Gag Reflex, Just Randi, Just Hannah, Groundhog Lay, CMen++, Just John, Can You Hear Me Now, Just Martin, Junkyard (longtime missing from the BFM now in Flagstaff), Billy "G" Goat (also longtime and last time was with Junkyard but they didn't actually coordinate this meeting tonight...it was just meant to be), Chasez Boyz, Tits Of Steel, Manual Fiesta, Red Hot Chilly Pussy, Just Sara, Gofer Hole (Summit), Shop & Fuck, Cockmaster And Commander (Auto), Spear My Finger (Auto), Chorizo Curtains (Auto), Urine Luck (Auto), 23rd Cumasome (Auto), and Semen On The Poop Deck (Auto).
So the only person who took this week to be a themed week seeing as how we were on a very active and sexy campus was CMen++ who came wearing the sexiest little school girl outfit befitting the pages of Playboy as her little token of thanks to the BFM as soon she departs us for the other great city of debauchery, D.C. Since we were lacking of a GM along with most of the rest of the BFM, Shop & Fuck took on the duties of GM. He was absolutely daring, dashing and debonair as he passed out the straws and as came down to the last one he realized he didn't recognize that somebody drew the short one earlier. EPIC GM FAIL. No matter. He enlisted Chasez Boyz to co-hare with Just Martin who was due to lay his first trail with the BFM. So off the two were to take on the difficult task of not being coerced by sexy ivy league co-eds to bail on trail. Our brilliant RA's Tits Of Steel and Manual Fiesta were soon to gather our numbers and send us out into the night for chalk talk and ON-ON to:
We left the bar heading south towards a Walnut where we were immediately halted by a X which sent us into Penn's campus (YAY!) to a X on Spruce that sent us west to a BC that sent us back to 40th and then south to Pine. The X on Pine sent us further south to Baltimore where a X sent us west to a X on Woodland where we wrapped around and found a X on Chester that sent us west. Now it was at this point that most of the pack kept going west ignoring a very obvious X that was laid out in front of an alley that went north.
Now, boys and girls, it is generally good practice to follow Manual Fiesta on trail especially if you are relatively new to hashing. It is also good practice to not follow Shop & Fuck on trail as that normally ends up with a whole lot of having to catch back up with the pack when trail is discovered in another direction. Since this is the first and maybe only times I will have been right on the direction that trail went despite Manual Fiesta's insistence that the trail kept going west, I felt it necessary to immortalize it in trash. And so, Shop & Fuck lead the pack north into the alley that wound its way to 42nd and a --> north to Pine. A X on Pine sent us west to a X on 43rd that sent us south to a X on Baltimore that sent us east to a X on 34th that finally sent us south to the BEER Near! Millcreek Tavern.
The whole pack gathered in, a little disappointed that nobody had caught a co-ed on trail yet but thirsty for some well earned BEER. Just Martin was giddy as he sat next to Chasez Boyz at the bar, pleased with himself as he enjoyed hearing about how well his trail had fucked with the pack. So there was much rejoicing and conversation as we prepared for the next leg of our trail. One such conversation that I sat in on was that of Tits Of Steel with Just Beth about the possibilities that existed with Just Dave (Jesus).
Tits Of Steel: If Jesus frosted his tips he would look like Jarret Leto.
Just Beth: (IN A VERY EXCITED MANNER) I am going to die his hair tonight and have sex with him!
So as much of the conversation kept down that sorted path I recognized that not all of the pack was in yet. I went to the door and popped my head out to find Manual Fiesta coming down the street from a direction that was not part of trail.
Shop & Fuck: Are we on out?
Manual Fiesta: No, I am just getting here.
So now that everyone was finally accounted for, we were ON-OUT again south from the bar to Regent where the X sent us west to a X that sent us into the park to a X in front of the playground (sadly, nobody played on the playground) that sent us north through Clark Park to a X on Baltimore that eventually had us all fucked up before we found a --> that sent us north on 43rd and then ON-IN for:
HARES: Virgin Hare Just Martin's with Chasez Boyz. SONG: S-H-I T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
VISITORS: Gofer Hole (Princeton) I think bowed out as all I have written next to him is Savat? Junkyard (Flagstaff) showed us a joke about a parakeet on a perch. SONG: It's A Small Dick After All...
FIRST IN/LAST IN: Groundhog Lay / Junkyard (and when one visitor drinks, so does Gofer Hole). SONG: What A Wank...
AUTO HASHERS: Cockmaster And Commander, Spear My Finger, Chorizo Curtains, Urine Luck, 23rd Cumasome, and Semen On The Poop Deck. SONG: They Ought To Be Publicly Pissed On...
CUMS LATELY: Groundhog Lay, Just John, Can You Hear Me Now, Junkyard, Billy "G" Goat. SONG: Where Were You Last Week...
1) Chasez Boyz accused Manual Fiesta and Tits Of Steel of an extended silent moment. And when one ginger drinks so does Chasez Boyz. And when one hare drinks so does Just Martin. Just John accused Two In The Sink None In The Pink of a spectacular hash crash which left blood on trail. Shop & Fuck accused CMen++ of being an over achiever and showing up to the hash like an Ivy League School Girl Gone Wild. Urine Luck accused Cockmaster and Commander of taking LSD earhing gag stunt...Maybe Urine Luck can decipher what I wrote. SONG: I Fucked A Dead Whore By The Roadside...
2) Chorizo Curtains accused Cockmaster and Commander of recommending a great eyebrow lady (which he was very proud of by the way). Groundhog Lay accused Two In The Sink None In The Pink of not knowing what a ginger was...dear lord man, we have the sexiest gingers on the east coast as members of the BFM. Shop & Fuck accused Manual Fiesta of apparently taking a siesta on trail and coming in fifteen minutes late to the BEER Near. Tits of Steel accused the hares Chasez Boyz and Just Martin of leaving flour everywhere...it looked like a Hell's Kitchen massacre in that alley. SONG: Here's To Brother Hasher...
3) Urine Luck accused Two In The Sink None In The Pink of taking a cab. Groundhog lay accused Gofer Hole of matchy matchy with Two In The Sink None In The Pink. Shop & Fuck accused Just Beth of plotting on Just Dave (Jesus) so as to fuck her own personal Jarret Leto. Cockmaster And Commander accused the hares Chasez Boyz and Just Martin of hosting a 5k hash. Billy "G" Goat accused Junkyard of a five year reunion that brought tears to his eyes. SONG: Twenty Toes...
4) Gag Reflex accused Two In The Sink None In The Pink of running away from the conversation dealing with the cervix? Chorizo Curtains accused Gag Reflex of doing something terribly inappropriate in circle. Tits of Steel accused the hares Chasez Boyz and Just Martin of crossing trail. Groundhog Lay accused Shop & Fuck of saying that Hole Patrol was good for something (collecting hash cash). SONG: EL CAMINO...
5) Cockmaster And Commander accused Semen On The Poop Deck and Two In The Sink None In The Pink of something to do with their clothes. Just Hannah accused Just Randi of being an over achieving ass clown by turning in her thesis today. Urine Luck accused Just Hannah of confusing accusations with compliments. CMen++ accused Gag Reflex of admitting to burning down his house. Chasez Boyz accused CMen++ of leaving us for more debaucherous pastures. Shop & Fuck accused Chasez Boyz of being coherent. Just Beth accused Shop & Fuck of ruining her plans. Just Randi accused Just Dave (Jesus) of not wearing Jesus sandals on trail. SONG: Would You Like A Finger In Your BEER...
6) Two In The Sink None In The Pink started an accusation that went horribly wrong. And when one person wearing khaki cargos drinks so does Gofer Hole. Can You Hear Me Now accused Just Beth of having a goat in circle? Just Sara accused Just Randi drinking gin not BEER in circle. Just Beth accused Tits Of Steel of being the one that was schooling her on die jobs. Shop & Fuck accused Red Hot Chilly Pussy (BRRRRR) of looking thirsty. SONG: Face Down Ass Up...(and during the down down song Just Randi attempted to shirk the BEER but the pack wasn't having it...and finally Just Randi did her down down with BEER!)
Semen On The Poop Deck wanted everyone to know that he feels awful but he won't be making it to the DC Red Dress Run this year but in order to make up for this he is offering up his rego at cost which is so much less than it costs now to get a rego.
Spare My Finger wants everyone to know that the White Dress Run will be November 15th. If you are looking for crash space then start looking now because her pad is already full of like 10 hashers and White Dress is not something you want to be driving home from. Also know that there is a full week option that includes the BFM Pre-Lube on Thursday and the Full Moon Bachelor/Bachelorette Friday along with a pay as you go pub crawl on Sunday.
Groundhog Lay wants everyone to know that he is going down to New Orleans to stay with the organizer of the VOODOO Hash the weekend of November 21st for the VooDoo Hash Camp Weekend...and he wants somebody to go with him.
Chasez Boyz wants everyone to know that CMen++ is having her last hash next Thursday 9/25 at the BFM at the Green Street Tavern. Oh, and some other guy is also having his last hash that night. Menage None I think his name is although he goes by others.
The Full Moon has a new GM. His name is Chef Boy Or Horse! He must have been drinking when they asked him to be a GM again! And he must have still been drunk to ask Shop & Fuck to help him out. And Shop & Fuck was drunk enough to accept. Come help celebrate bad decisions as we head to Cherry Street Tavern this Friday 9/26 and give our thanks to Up Her Ali and Hold The Sausage as they turn over the reins (the lone good decision). Also, it is the last night on Earth for many of your fellow BFM as they are all throwing themselves from a plane the very next day (another bad decision made while drinking with the BFM). So come do trail with us then start the weekend off right with BEER and see if you can't make some bad decisions of your own!
"One tile protruded six inches!" (indicating with his hands two feet long...so apparently when he sizes his junk it comes to four feet long :) ) - Two In The Sink None In The Pink
"Shit on head is like a conditioner." - Unknown hasher
"You used a table saw while you were drinking?" - Shop a& Fuck
"Wellllll....I may have been a little high. We were making a duck soup." - Hasher to Remain Unnamed
"My anal lips are moist for you...I don't know if they exist but you'll be loving it!" - Urine Luck
"Sorry about those texts. I blacked out." - Just Randi to Spare My Finger