Pack: Shop N Fuck
Not In My Hair
Virgin Just Max (Rear Ender made him come)
Where's My D
Uncle Bad Touch
Knights Of The Pound Table
Tits Of Steel
Biff Pow Slap Slap Slap (visitor - Richmond H3)
Me Shrub You Long Time
Under The Siege
Fuzzy Cozmo (visitor - PorME H3)
Plow Me From Behind (visitor - PorME H3)
This BFM trail began as many do with a little confusion, frantic reorganizing, and delicious beer. The original hares from the 'Yunk were planning a Hanukkah themed delight but alas could not make it. Perhaps their candle wouldn't light, perhaps they had better things to do. Fortunately for us with nothing better to do than chase flour and beer, the hares were re-casted jugs-in-time and those naughty elves took us on a mad mad tour of Manayunk.
Not everyone was so keenly aware of the late roster change because Just Ian arrived sporting a festive "Llamakah" holiday sweater which proved to be less warm than he expected on that cold November night. The pack collected in the front bar to enjoy some pre-lubricant of which NIMH was in great need since he has been nearly killed en route by an "impaired" Lyft driver. Keen to "lyft" his spirits, GHL entertained us all with a story of how after-hours gay bars are a great place to go with your guy friends on Valentine's Day. I'm not sure how those are connected but it seemed to perk up NIMH regardless. It was decided that Just Max would pop his cherry as "it" for the slap bracelet game to start and Casting Couch nearly left the flour behind.
We had a special returner that night who apparently owed the BFM some services, so Uncle Bad Touch turned on heel and conducted chalk talk like a matador, but it was to be the pack that would have to avoid the bull. On On!
Trail began with a mad dash up into and through pretzel park, veering left. Because this is a 'Yunk trail, what goes up must come downhill. 60K9 came as fast as always barreling into the first song check of the night where we stimulated some holiday spirit with "Give it a blow". We found ourselves at the bottom, searching marks along the river when trail headed up a few steps back to the streets. These were the first steps of many and not so soon the stairs ended with another song check. This time TOS led us in "My cock is in your mouth tonight". Now atop the hills, the pack moved faster, past private sand volleyball courts and local celebrity musicians, past drunks on the street and cemeteries, though neighborhoods until the hounds found a beautiful mark and called SHOT NEAR!
This turned out to be shot approximately near and we finally found warm solace in a tower of one of the hares. The pack enjoyed heated shelter but sat awkwardly quiet around a square table until a darling little elf girl brought us cups for some high proof peppermint schnapps. Under The Siege was trending the bar and announced there were also pudding shots to be enjoyed. We were safe in the knowledge that Cosby is locked away and couldn't force his own pudding pop on us. With sweet boozy goodness coursing through us, the pack headed back into the cold in search of more trail. On On!
We crossed a small highway and were faced with a choice. Left headed into the woods and right headed somewhere else. Clearly this on sec went left. The wooded trail was bathed in darkness, covered with leaves which hid the ankle-treacherous rocks, and clearly fucking awesome! The awesomeness was short lived and the lefties emerged from the woods near some raceist horses to rejoin the rest of the pack. Marks led us into a neighborhood where we found another song check in front of a beautifully decorated home, so we gave them a chorus of "A soldier". Those sly hares laid us a back check but then led the pack right into our favorite mark. BEER NEAR!
At casa de Casting Couch, the pack came together and celebrated camaraderie with cold beers. This turned out to be a prelude to circle because the hounds were back on trail and quickly On In.
Circle was held in a seemingly abandoned upstairs bar which was perfect for our shenanigans. The hares were honored for their trail, the visitors shared a song or two, and the virgin was deflowered as only the BFM can. The mad elves for this trail took the hounds into cold like the north pole; but ultimately warmed us with miles run, alcohol drank, and the fellowship of the hash. The holiday season for the BFM was brought in with a bang but if you missed it you don't have to miss out. Any Thursday night come cozy up to your favorite half-minds and we will warm you from the inside...with consent. Happy Holiday Hashing!