...and everyone chose not to.
But the fearless among us trudged our way through the arctic tundra that was Philadelphia up until 5 minutes ago, meeting at Ye Olde Black Sheep for what was sure to be an (un)eventful trail.
Everyone is terrified of the snow. Pissy Elliot volunteers to hare ALL BY HERSELF (what a brave girl). She's super refreshed and energized from doing literally nothing all day thanks to the joys of working at a public school on a snow day. Before we head out, Pissy Elliot makes us well aware that, "FYI - There WILL be a beer check. I don't want you to think for one second that there won't be."
See map at left for a very professional artistic rendering of trail. (Note: map not drawn to scale).
Black sheep = Black Sheep
Arrow = true trail
X = check (look at me knowing all the symbols! I'm almost as good at remembering things as our new RAs)
. . . = clumps of heavy duty, cancerous, hazmat suit-orange, "warning: will stain some surfaces" marking flour
Dog = Good Dog
Accusations (Fo' real):
- Pissy Elliot > all the hashers for being super lazy
- Pissy Elliot (AGAIN!) > Gelatio for something about 12 or 2 or 4 that didn't make any sense at all. (In just the first round, the Ben Franklin Mob has now heard 66.67% of all accusations this girl has ever made)
- Gag Reflex > something about incest
- Urine Luck and Tits of Steel > I literally wrote down "You're all speaking too fast. I can't keep up." So, I don't know what their accusations were.
- Someone said something about the RAs sucking and not showing up shirtless in bow ties
- Gelatio > Just Payal (VIRGIN AUTOHASHER): crying after darts
- Tits > Urine Luck: singing about Jews without the token BFM Jew present (lookin' at you, Groundhog Lay)
- Some Virgin > Pissy Elliot for looking thirsty
- Gelatio > Some Virgin: Pickleback Elliot (okay, now we're just flat out making up names) is REALLY drunk
- Pissy Elliot > Nickelback McGee - your friends must not have work tomorrow since you're all schwasty (Another accusation! 75%! Math!)
- Just Steve > Just Alper: food abuse (didn't finish his burger... which Pissy Elliot then asked if she could eat... clearly my only goal in documenting the hash this week is to get the words "Pissy Elliot" written SUPER huge when Groundhog Lay visualizes trash).
- Tits: Green Dress
- Nickelback McGee: a plane crashed at LaGuardia today
- Urine Luck: choir practice (LOLZ STAY TUNED FOR MORE ON THIS LATER)
- Just John is not getting named again.