Horny Hands, Taco? I Barely Know Her, Just Amy, Honey I Shrunk the Tits, Cause for Blindness, Flounder, Gay Matthews Lamb, Pablow Picassho, Just Alper, Pissedacide, Just James, Rear Engineer, Tits of Steel, 3-Balls, Just Carl, Gag Reflex, Chorizo Curtains, Urine Luck, Just Carl, Hold the Sausage, Broken Rod, Sternum 'n Rectum, Uncle Fister, Chasez Boyz, Cockmaster & Commander, Barbara Bush, The Period Changed Everything, Manuel Fiesta, Just Kaylee, Just Casey, Splashback, Just Tag, Just..Haiti?, Just Joe, Punani Pourri, Goes Down on Bouys, Jugstain, Donald Dick, Red Hot Chili Pussy, Gellatio, and several other half-minds that really need to make a point of being more memorable.
First off, in case anyone was wondering how the rotation of the Earth correlates to the number of times someone calls Just Alper "broseph", we have this handy chart.
I rolled into Bonner's with Just Amy to kick off GDR weekend right. Horny Hands was already there to warm up the non-hashing crowd at the bar. Grabbed some beers and hung out while the Mob slowly trickled in. There were to be two trails this evening, one for walkers hared by Pablow Picassho and one for overachievers hared by Gay Matthews Lamb. Not wanting to put all the other runners to shame, I opted for the former.
The walker trail started off down 23rd street. After a few blocks a check had us continue down 23rd street. We hit a song check in a tunnel after which we found trail continuing along 23rd street. Another checks had us stumped for a minute be we finally found trail further down 23rd street. Eventually we hit the road with the circle that runs to the Art Museum. We turned down here because 23rd street was too confusing.
We wandered about the grounds of the Art Museum, running into a friendly group of people who were doing just a terrible job of hiding their weed. We found the runners on a hilltop behind the museum. There were very buttershotchy shots in a gazebo there overlooking the Boathouse Row. A declaration about which star in the sky was actually a planet kicked off amateur astronomy night.
Then it was off down the hill, down a path, and across a parking lot to a spot by the river where Cause for Blindness and Gay Matthews Lamb were waiting for us with a cooler of beers. Beers were consumed, laughs were had. Amateur astronomy night continued as it was discovered that Just Tag was, in fact, Uranus. Being the helper that I am I carried the cooler back to Causes's car. I turned around to see 8 or so half-minds following us because they mistakenly thought we were the walkers trail. After seeing Cause off everyone turned around and headed back towards trail where conversation ranged from being assaulted under bridges, being accosted by sentient trains, and citrus assassins who would murder you in your sleep for drinking the wrong brand of fruit juice. On-in!
First in was Not in My Hair who rode a bike on trail yet managed to miss both drink checks. Last in was me because I'm lazy enough to walk on-in, but not quite lazy enough to take a car ride from Cause. Goes Down on Bouys was visiting us this evening out of Boston. Autohashers included Donald Dick, Punani, Jugs, Just joe, Spare My Finger, Cause, and Just Haiti who was also our lone virgin of the evening and whose actual name I didn't quite catch but I think it rhymed with Haiti so screw it, I'm going with that.
Chasez Boyz was rocking the tech in circle. Gay Matthews Lamb wasted beer, Red Hot Chili Pussy didn't want her beer, and Just Tag complained about the beer check beer. The Kaylee-Casey duo did something together while Pablow something something vest. Gag Reflex wasn't showing nearly enough skin for the Mob's taste and Barbara Bush made Auschblow renege on her solemn duty as the walker trail hare. Tits of Steel performed some sort of simultaneous bodily function which is probably her super power.
Chorizo Curtains wasn't 90's enough and Spare was too 70's. Gag's panty line was showing. Manual Fiesta had a color scheme failure while Uncle Fister neglected to dress up like a leprachaun despite being our only actual Irishman in attendance. Rear Engineer had to tap out on the beer. The K's were too excited about blowjobs, but is that really a bad thing? Pissedacide thought it was more important to eat than to join us in circle.
Not in My Hair managed to miss both drink checks on trail despite being the only fucker on wheels. Chorizo didn't finish her beer. Absolutely nobody can understand Uncle Fister despite him speaking what we all presume to be English. Babs forgot her pearl necklace. Honey I Shrunk the Tits made just a terrible accusation. Taco had an amazing accusation that would've been both hilarious and sublime and would've gone into the record books as an all time classic remembered by hashers far and wide, but the offender Gag Reflex was already in circle for reasons I didn't catch because I'm just awful.
Just Amy got called out for not coming enough (my bad). Pabhole and Gay Matthews Lamb have been hanging out with Jack too much. Splashback sat around looking all thirsty and Barba Bush did something that is barely legible in my notes, but I can say was "cloon lamp" with a high degree of certainty. Horny Hands had a giant foamy head and Chasez mistook him for some sort of law man on trail. Donald and Punani too were thirsty.
Cause for Blindness shockingly had a bad accusation and Goes Down on Bouys brought the damn cold with him down from Boston. Donald got called out for some shit I didn't get. Chorizo's voice is quite piercing. Finally Punani Pourri was very lonely in Kenzo, throwing a trail to which nobody came.
Before circle was closed Just Amy was called in and made to get down on her knees how I like her. Mrs. Taco. The love of my life that everyone thinks I keep locked in a basement. There would be no debate. No questions, no voting. By the decree of our illustrious GM Tits of Steel, she is "Taco Belle".
Now get back in the basement, woman.
Taco? I Barely Know Her
Philly Full Moon green Dress Prelube! Drinker's Tavern, Old City! Tonight!
GREEN DRESS RUN! SATURDAY! Details @ http://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=17284&cat=256
Sunday GDR recovery Fat Boy trail! The start has been moved to Tattoo'd Mom's on South St. Show up at noon, "trail" heads out at 1:00. Keep your eye out on all the usual places for pack progress.
Punani's kenzo trail was two weeks ago, assholes.
Out of context
"Someone find me something liquid to drink. I don't care what it is." -Just Alper
"Why does everyone listen to me?" -Pablow Picassho