When: 4/28/2016
Where: Cavanaugh's Rittenhouse
Hares: Silence of the Goats, Just Krispy
When: 4/28/2016
Where: Cavanaugh's Rittenhouse
Hares: Silence of the Goats, Just Krispy
| In attendance:
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hodor
[hoh-dohr]
noun
1. Something; any object, place or thing.
- Hey man, you gonna finish that hodor?
verb
1. Some action; any description that expresses an action or state of being.
- Dude, I hodored the shit out of that hodor!
Present Indicative Conjugation:
yo hodo
tu hodos
el/usted hodo
nosotros hodomos
vosotros hodois
ellos/ustedes hodon
Hashers, your eyes do not deceive you: there were a total of fifteen "Just" hashers at the First Annual Game of Thrones Hash, including 6 virgins. This provided a TON of fresh meat for our hares, Silence of the Goats and Just Krispy to march "voluntarily" to The Wall. Indeed, this wretched collection of buggers, vagrants and drunks should make a fine addition to the stalwarts of Castle Black. Welcome virgins - NOW YOUR WATCH BEGINS!
Prior to trail, our spritely emcee Slothy Seconds led the now legendary chalk talk that will be recounted by bards and poets for a thousand generations. Therein, the pack received a detailed description of the various hash marks for the evening, which included:
- Hodor!!!
- Hodor???
- ho-DOR?
- HO-dor!
- Hodor #
- H@D*R!$#!
Even guided by Slothy's eloquent instruction, the pack diffused through the Rittenhouse neighborhood in a state of utter confusion. Every manner of mark - true trail, on-one, on-two, falses, checks, etc., was met with a single, unified response: "HODOR!" Consequently, the pack spent the first 40 minutes of trail bouncing into one another like pin-balls while traversing no more than 5 blocks as the raven flies. Seven Hells!!
That said, Silence of the Goats's and Just Kris's trail was nothing short of a metropolitan tour de force. Coming in at a shade under 6.75 miles, this run was as perilous as any journey ever undertaken in the Seven Kingdoms or beyond - from the treacherous Frostfangs north of the Wall to the barren bone-yards of the Red Waste - I'd put this trail right along side of them! Clearly reader, our over-achieving RA works in chalk the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It is her true medium; a master!
Prior to trail, our spritely emcee Slothy Seconds led the now legendary chalk talk that will be recounted by bards and poets for a thousand generations. Therein, the pack received a detailed description of the various hash marks for the evening, which included:
- Hodor!!!
- Hodor???
- ho-DOR?
- HO-dor!
- Hodor #
- H@D*R!$#!
Even guided by Slothy's eloquent instruction, the pack diffused through the Rittenhouse neighborhood in a state of utter confusion. Every manner of mark - true trail, on-one, on-two, falses, checks, etc., was met with a single, unified response: "HODOR!" Consequently, the pack spent the first 40 minutes of trail bouncing into one another like pin-balls while traversing no more than 5 blocks as the raven flies. Seven Hells!!
That said, Silence of the Goats's and Just Kris's trail was nothing short of a metropolitan tour de force. Coming in at a shade under 6.75 miles, this run was as perilous as any journey ever undertaken in the Seven Kingdoms or beyond - from the treacherous Frostfangs north of the Wall to the barren bone-yards of the Red Waste - I'd put this trail right along side of them! Clearly reader, our over-achieving RA works in chalk the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It is her true medium; a master!
| Un-intimidated by the specter of torrential rain, SotG and Just Kris continued their dark journey, resolving to lead the pack to a Beer Near AND a Shot Near - both of them outdoors. SotG's creativity and devotion were once again on display as the pack imbibed on the meticulously selected spirits of Lionshead and Fireball. This potent combination provided the precise level of intoxication that led to Slothy's first ever civilian re-naming: Congratulations Just Samarah! On our way back to the bar, SotG blew a kiss to our Lord and Savior George R.R. Martin by leading the pack past Philly's version of the Wall, down Winter Street, then ultimately to a picturesque jaunt along the handsomely illuminated Addison Street. Alas, King's Landing has never shined so bright! It should come as no surprise that The Game of Thrones hash has been nominated for 2016 TRAIL OF THE YEAR! The evening ended with one of the most epic Circles of all time, the likes of which we shall not see until the sun sets in the east and the mountains blow in the winds like leaves. |  |
The climax, of course, was the fantastically SHAMEFUL round of accusations that was accompanied by a cowbell that penetrated the depths of my very soul. Other highlights included:
- Slothy Seconds stumping for the Donald (pictured below).
- A heroic, bloody hash crash by SotG.
- Breakfast cereal on trail.
- SPOILER ALERT - BRAN DIES.
- "What's the best thing about twenty one year olds?"
- The Period Changes Everything forgets HIS OWN FIANCEE'S NAME!
- Rigor Mortis - No Problem!
- Sexism at the Hash: Guys can screw as many dead chicks as they like. Women, not so much.
"MAKE AMERICA CHAFE AGAIN"
Gag Reflex, Out
** #635 is a 2016 Trail of the Year Nominee
Gag Reflex, Out
** #635 is a 2016 Trail of the Year Nominee
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