OOOOOOOH first prom throwback... The good ole days, when alcohol was available, Burnettes tasted like gold, and the bills were still all on your folks. My best friend and I both had a strong love for boys, shots, and shaking our asses... I guess not much has changed... ANYWAY, there was some drama because someone didn't want someone in our limo or some shit. Whatever. Then we got to the venue - a super fancy Mariott hotel. My bag of fancy mints was confiscated because they looked like drugs but somehow like eight bathroom-using girls had snuck in with flasks. I danced the night away with my BFF. We freaking killed it. Then we headed to an all-night party at some cheap hotel with a pool where the police politely told us to shut the fuck up. Successful prom 1.
I was a fucking BABE. Black princessey dress with a BIG pink bow around my waist. We went to my friend's house on the lake for some delicious home cookin' - some god damn delicious twice baked potatoes and photos by the lake. My best girlfriend took a lady-friend and I went with my boyfriend from the country school (boys at my school dipped in class but his school had a drive your tractor to work day. Fucking rednecks). Prom was fantastic. I, per usual, destroyed the dance floor. We left, stood up through the sunroof and yelled at strangers on our way to wafflehouse for the breakfast special... It's weird that my clearest prom memories are of the food that I ate. Then I went home because I was in trouble for sneaking out or some highschool shit. Successful prom 2
This prom changed my life.. it started the same way with the same shit. Cute dress, went with a dude friend and a bunch of people in a party bus, danced, was nominated for prom queen but didn't win, etc. You don't give a shit. This prom was different.. darker. There was a terrible, rough thunderstorm going on outside. My guy friend was a huge jackass. He was one of those friends that makes you feel like you're on top of the world until they're trying to get their dick wet and then they figuratively grind your face into the ground to make themselves look cool in front of attractive members of the opposite sex. He threw some words around and left to go hook up with some girl so I spent some time crying in the bathroom like a little bitch. While I was in the bathroom a loud crash of thunder shook the entire building and the lights flickered out. Silence. I was temporarily blinded when the lights flickered back on and my vision was greeted by the hottest, coolest girl I'd ever seen, walking into the bathroom. Her dress was navy blue with dark purple hues and star-like rhinestones swirled throughout. When she walked in, I felt a cool breeze brush against my face, sending a wave of awe down my spine and I immediately knew that I was in the presence of someone fantastic. She glided across the bathroom floor toward me, gently pulled two flasks from either side of her boobs and like an angel, she sang the words "whiskey or tequila". I responded "yes". I angled the tequila flask for maximum flow to the back of my throat and heard the kind stranger say "woah, woah, woah! Save some for me!" The fairytale glow between us ended abruptly when a loud banging came from the bathroom door. She ran out of the bathroom yelling "be right back". I waited. Waited. Then waited a little longer until finally, I assumed she had forgotten about me and I left. I threw the flasks in my center console for later and drove my sorry ass home through the pouring rain. This is where things start getting weird. Written in giant red letters across the driveway was the word BITCH and maybe something else but it was fading quickly.. red and dripping. like blood. I assumed it was my whore sister but none the less, I was a little freaked out. The next day, I shook off the weird writing and hopped in my car to start my drive to a hidden smoke spot to forget about the previous nights failures. I pulled off onto a gravel road that leads to the stop and felt a leather bag quickly thrown over and covering my head, blinding me. I panicked, pushed the gas pedal in hard and felt my body slam into the steering wheel as my car demolished itself on a tree. There was suddenly a rope around my neck, pulling tighter with every failed gasp for air. Everything in that bag was dark, chilling and I felt myself passing out - fading into the darkness, the emptiness, unsure of what was coming next but knowing that it couldn't be good. I felt a hand slip past my right thigh toward the center of the car and heard a frigid, numb voice say the words "bitch. better. have. my. shots"
I've been locked in this basement since that day. Please send help.
-Bitch $hots' Bitch