Holiday Lights Hash!
Hares: Tits of Steel & Silence of the Goats
Where: South Philly Bar and Grill
This bar was fantastic. $5 for heaven hill shots AND a PBR tallboy? Yes, I'll take 3 of those. Some of this trash may not make much sense...
There were tons of great holiday sweaters! Fister showed up and had transformed into Harry which of course is what you call a Gary with hair. Goose was dressed in the most magnificent red, christmas printed, full suit and snapped his next tinder profile pic.
We decided to leave the warm bar and run around outside on the coldest day ever recorded in history to rescue some delicious shots. Jesus was pronounced the winner of the holiday sweater contest (as if lights being put up all around the city in honor of his birthday wasn't enough). Then we hopped, skipped, and sprinted around to stay warm on our way to the first shot near. On our way there, we saw a dog swiftly carried across the street away from us. We believed he had been roofied but our dog roofie expert, 60K9, was not around to confirm. We were flicked off by the meanest minivan driving soccer mom ever encountered but we pushed on for shots.
After hopping out of the subway, we were taken through an awesome neighborhood full of cool lights and christmas set ups. I believe this is where we ran into some tasty jello and pudding shots which were fantastic and festive! After some sneaky post-shot peeing, we made our way through a few more displays and lights. We ended up in a park, complete with the most adorable pupper with a glow-in-the-dark ball and collar set. Goats revealed that she is the Drake of Toothbrush songs and Slothy released her new "Call me on my Elf Phone" single.
We headed back to the bar where nominations for the new mismanagement were made! Check Facebook for the up-to-date list!
I'll leave you with these final notes that I don't remember the context of:
"Cat dicks; they're just like human dicks" - Unknown
"Oh, you're gettn' it" - STFT
"It's a Christmas Cucumber" - Unknown
Suck a Dick
Bitch Shots/ Amy Death Pants OUT