Runner Girl: Close your eyes and open your mouth.
Just Emily: I call my cousin “slut muffin.”
Virgin Jason: She deserves it.
Where’s my D?: I just can’t wait to shave myself.
Sex Toys for Tots (gesturing to Where’s My D?): I’m the one who changes her diaper.
Some random little kid: Wait for me, I’m the fastest!
Just Mego: We used to do the Rock Paper Scissors league.
Just Emilio: It’s a lot of mind games.
Baa Ram Him: We disappointed the children. Not my first time.
Random Kid 1: How far do you want to go with them?
Random Kid 2: Clemente.
Random Kid 1, gesturing to building we are next to: That’s Clemente.
Random Kid 2: Okay, well a little further.
Goose: 60K9, Dixalot [sic: he meant International Dicklomat] sounds like someone from NPR in the morning.
60K9: Dave Davies.
Goose: No. I listen in the morning and the afternoon.
SideShow Bobjob: YES! He does sound like someone!
60K9, to Dicklomat: Say something.
International Dicklomat: {some political sounding stuff in impressive radio voice}
All parties: {name more public radio personalities than I knew existed, but the identity of Dicklomat’s vocal doppelgänger eludes them}
AssAssInNation: See! There *is* a penis involved!
Just Sahar: I moved to America when I was young and impressionable and got corrupted and now my parents hate me.
Tits: I’m going to do it slowly by myself.
Just Alex: By witchcraft, I mean crouching in the bush with binoculars two blocks back.
May I Cum on Ya?: I got sick last weekend. We were at a flea market that had a place that sold wigs next to a place that cut hair next to a place that served food.
Scarface: The trick is the feet. Anyone can do the hands. It’s all about the feet.
60K9: You ate 7.
Bitchshots: I ATE AT LEAST 25.
60K9: 7.
Bitchshots: 25.
Slothy: Did you guys have a nugget contest?
60K9: We were trying to eat 50.
Slothy, disapprovingly: And you ate 7?
Bitchshots: I ate like 20.
60K9: Okay, maybe 20.
Emo Kid: Oh, so many balls.
Other People’s Pussy: Tatertot? Popper?
Desperately Seeking Pussy: I thought you were calling her “tatertot.”
Just Elvis: I have some chafing problems, I don’t blame her.
Goats: *wraps a tater tot in a piece of lettuce*
Pounded in the Can: The cops where really nice to me while I was doing it. They were like, “you got a whole bunch more people.”
Thud Muffin: It’s goin’ bitchin’.
Fort Dixalot: It stays in your mouth.
Just Sean: It was going really slow and nothing was happening and then suddenly it was happening.
UrineLuck: This is the first time I’m eating a jalapeño popper.
Orgy Porgy Puddin’ Pie: They call me PPPPPPPPPPPPP.
Pink and Puffy Rides the Huffy: *mumbles hash name incoherently*
Slothy: I’m sorry, what was that?
PaPRtH: *mumbles hash name incoherently again*
Slothy: One more time.
PaPRtH: P{incoherent}
Slothy: Oh
****later****
Slothy: I really want to get this right. What is your hash name, syllable by syllable?
PaPRtH: Pink
Slothy: Pink
PaPRtH: And
Slothy: And
PaPRtH: Puffy
Slothy: Puffy
PaPRtH: Rides
Slothy: Rides
PaPRtH: the
Slothy: the
PaPRtH: {incoherent}
Slothy: wtf
PaPRtH: Huffy.
Slothy: Huffy?
PaPRtH: It’s a bike.
Slothy: Ok. I finally got it, thanks!
PaPRtH: I had a different name in my home hash.
Goats: Where are you from?
PaPRtH: Albania.
Goats: What was your name?
Slothy: *prepares for even more incomprehensible babble of syllables*
PaPRtH: Lazy Lover.
Glitoris: Hi, how are you [Sorry, she autohashed so that is the only thing I heard her say L]