- Hash is draw-straw tonight.
- To show up on time, proceed to 2.
- To intentionally show up late, proceed to 3.
- Congrats on not being a dick! Pick your straw!
- Pick the tallest straw you see? Proceed to 4.
- Pick any straw randomly? Proceed to 5.
- You dick.
- Did you think it would be that easy?!
- You did think it would be that easy. Proceed to 6.
- Are you Where’s My D? Proceed to 7.
- You lucky, responsibility-free hasher. Proceed to 8.
- Oh. I guess it was that easy. Carry on, hasher. Proceed to 8.
- Sucks to suck, D. You’re the hare now.
- “But I don’t want to!” Proceed to 9.
- “Does someone else want this?” Proceed to 9.
- “Sex Toys, you can have it instead!” Proceed to 9.
- On out! Proceed to 11.
- YOU DARE TEMPT THE GODS OF FATE, D? For shame. Go hare. Proceed to 10.
- Fine, take Sex Toys for Tots with you. Just don’t make the BN too expensive--we’re saving for 700. Proceed to 12. (Regos available now for BFM #700, on a BOAT!)
- I guess head… left? No, right? I mean, come on guys, you know how this works by now. Just do the whole hashing thing. Proceed to 15.
- “Parks on Tap on the Schuylkill?! Awesome! No way the beers here are overpriced!”
- “Wait, these probably are overpriced.” Proceed to 13.
- [No second thoughts] Proceed to 14.
- “But this is realy close to trail…” Proceed to 14.
- “Parks on Tap it is!” Proceed to 16.
- Beeeeeeer Near! Line up in an orderly fashion to receive your entirely-too-nice and entirely-too-expensive beer. Proceed to 17.
- Five dollar beers?! God Dammit, guys. And this is going on my credit card, too? Proceed to 18.
- On out! Proceed to 19.
- “Should we do clichéd Rocky steps? Heck yes, we should do clichéd Rocky steps.” Proceed to 20.
- Dammit. Art Museum steps. I bet people are going to call them to Rocky steps, too. Sigh.
- Run up the steps. Proceed to 21.
- Don’t run up the steps. Proceed to 22.
- “Should we run through some fountains?”
- Heck yes. Proceed to 23.
- Heck no. Proceed to 24.
- Surprise! You have to run back down them now. Proceed to 25.
- Looks like they’re coming back down. Good call. Proceed to 25.
- Sweet! Great use of fountain. Proceed to 26.
- Losers. Go back and run through some fountains. Return to 23.
- On In to Cherry Street Tavern! Proceed to drinking.
- And we’re back! Draw straw wasn’t so bad. Proceed to drinking.
Draw straw hash, draw straw trash. Choose wisely.
Ben Franklin Mob
Always runs on Thursdays at 7:30 PM with the pack out at 8 from various Philadelphia locations.