BFM #696 - DRAW STRAW NO THEME (OG)

Draw straw hash, draw straw trash. Choose wisely.

1. Hash is draw-straw tonight.
   • To show up on time, proceed to 2.
   • To intentionally show up late, proceed to 3.
2. Congrats on not being a dick! Pick your straw!
   1. Pick the tallest straw you see? Proceed to 4.
   2. Pick any straw randomly? Proceed to 5.
3. You dick.
4. Did you think it would be that easy?!
   1. You did think it would be that easy. Proceed to 6.
   2. Are you Where’s My D? Proceed to 7.
5. You lucky, responsibility-free hasher. Proceed to 8.
6. Oh. I guess it was that easy. Carry on, hasher. Proceed to 8.
7. Sucks to suck, D. You’re the hare now.
   1. “But I don’t want to!” Proceed to 9.
   2. “Does someone else want this?” Proceed to 9.
   3. “Sex Toys, you can have it instead!” Proceed to 9.
8. On out! Proceed to 11.
9. YOU DARE TEMPT THE GODS OF FATE, D? For shame. Go hare. Proceed to 10.
10. Fine, take Sex Toys for Tots with you. Just don’t make the BN too expensive--we’re saving for 700. Proceed to 12. (Regos available now for BFM #700, on a BOAT!)
11. I guess head… left? No, right? I mean, come on guys, you know how this works by now. Just do the whole hashing thing. Proceed to 15.
12. “Parks on Tap on the Schuylkill?! Awesome! No way the beers here are overpriced!”
    1. “Wait, these probably are overpriced.” Proceed to 13.
    2. [No second thoughts] Proceed to 14.
13. “But this is realy close to trail…” Proceed to 14.
14. “Parks on Tap it is!” Proceed to 16.
15. Beeeeeeer Near! Line up in an orderly fashion to receive your entirely-too-nice and entirely-too-expensive beer. Proceed to 17.
16. Five dollar beers?! God Dammit, guys. And this is going on my credit card, too? Proceed to 18.
17. On out! Proceed to 19.
18. “Should we do clichéd Rocky steps? Heck yes, we should do cliché​d Rocky steps.” Proceed to 20.
19. Dammit. Art Museum steps. I bet people are going to call them to Rocky steps, too. Sigh.
    1. Run up the steps. Proceed to 21.
    2. Don’t run up the steps. Proceed to 22.
20. “Should we run through some fountains?”
    1. Heck yes. Proceed to 23.
    2. Heck no. Proceed to 24.
21. Surprise! You have to run back down them now. Proceed to 25.
22. Looks like they’re coming back down. Good call. Proceed to 25.
23. Sweet! Great use of fountain. Proceed to 26.
24. Losers. Go back and run through some fountains. Return to 23.
25. On In to Cherry Street Tavern! Proceed to drinking.
26. And we’re back! Draw straw wasn’t so bad. Proceed to drinking.