Pack: Shop N Fuck, 60 K9, Parrot Head, Me Shrub You Long Time, Sphincter Grease, Other People’s Pussy, Sex Toys For Tots, Just Caroline, Cuff Me the Vampire Player, Sideshow Bobjob, Foofer Duper (Gainesville H3), and Strawberry Shartcake
Tattooed Mom is laid back bar on South Street with a great beer selection, wacky wall decorations and even wackier seating options (Bumper Cars!). Needless to say, it is perfect for the hash. The kennel was enjoying pre-lube and dreading the cold night with its probable 10 mile trail given the nature of the hares. The looming trail notwithstanding, the merry nature of the bar was rubbing off on the pack as Shop chased Cuff Me around the room like a Benny Hill episode while Sphincter Grease tried to recruit three muggles to join our fun. We braved the freezing wind to find chalk talk just past what seemed to be a homeless bookstore (yay capitalism!), met our visitor, and set off on trail. ON-ON.
The trail was an immediate shit show and got off to a slow start. Thankfully it was pre-laid and 3 Balls stayed with us to “sweep” for stragglers. We managed to find enough marks to justify following and began solving the puzzle laid haphazardly before us. At one point a back check counted back to the previous check. The pack worked their way through Washington Square, solved numerous checks along the way, and eventually headed along Market Street towards City Hall. En route we encountered a canine belligerent Eagles fan (unlike most belligerent Eagles fans) who sported the number 41 jersey and was not happy to see us. Just as unwelcoming as the dog was City Hall, through which trail had been laid during operating hours but was now closed due to either the late time or the government shutdown. Shartcake produced some rope (‘cause Charlie Bronson always ends up using it) and lobbied for us to scale the walls; however, the raceists of the pack felt it more prudent to take the long way round. ON-ON.
Finding trail on the other side of local government, we were back on as OPP chased a mouse and we sang about dead whores. There were many land marks and flash opportunities around this part of the city. Shop took one such narcissistic stop for a LOVE selfie. The trail headed north and east to Vine St and past a Chinese funeral home which was very fitting as we soon after crossed into Franklin Square while calling “Don’t Get Dead!” Much to the pack’s delight we found a mark that proclaimed “almost BN” and almost being a relative term, 5 blocks later we found the BN. Up, up, and up five flights of stairs to a roof top we were greeted by cold beer, colder night air, a beautiful view, and the warm comradery of the hash. ON-ON.
We were joined after the BN by Silence of the Goats and the trail from that point was pretty much a zig-zag south to the on in. Many of the pack took upon themselves to forego trail completely and beeline back to Tatty Mommy. One exception was the overachieving Just Caroline who searched for marks, solved checks, and eventually found the intended ON-IN.
Circle held songs for the hares, the fast, the slow and the auto hashers as well as the expected accusations. One unexpected accusation came when Shop declared that Just Caroline, had through appropriate hash behavior, earned a new name. Based on her responses to the kennel’s questioning, some suggestions were: What Does the Fuck Say, Tear-llatio, Pole-Hoe, I’m Not Enjoying This, Sad Sack, CumPilation, and Ha Ha Threesome… but to the BFM she will forever be known as Music to My Tears!