On a balmy night in April, hashers wandered up and down the Avenue of the Republic. We had heard there was a trail. And that chalk talk was around here somewhere, but… where? Our hares, Slippery Prick and Down Down on the Brown Brown had gotten the pack lost BEFORE the start of trail. Definitely a new record and extra impressive because this was Slippery Prick’s virgin BFM lay. Finally, we found Just Adam next to an almost-invisible chalk talk. He had been there all along, possibly sensing the presence of chalk talk (One of us! One of us!)
A largeish pack of hashers began to gather around the big gate thing near the Please Touch Museum. The scent of cherry blossoms drifted delicately on the breeze, and freshly vaxxed hashers hugged for the first time in over a year. We were naively happy and had no idea what the hares had in store for us at that point.
We started off and immediately came to a Turkey/Eagle split. The Eagle trail descended into a rocky, overgrown creek. As the pack picked and stumbled its way through, Shrub came flying past us, in danger of becoming airborne as Shadow pulled him through the shiggy. Eventually the rest of us emerged from the woods, dripping wet ;) 😉 xoxo
We coasted down a hill into the first beer near. 60k9 served up smoldering gargoyle looks for the camera while perched atop a post. Werk it! Dogs frolicked and music played from EDM’s speaker. Suddenly, Two Beds arrived at the beer near and flung a plastic Easter Egg at Slippery. Pastel colored jelly beans rained out, and like totally normal adult people Headshart and I thought “5 second rule” and ate them.
The rest of the night was a mix of hallucination and reality. Where’s My D? and Bread Dicks pole danced on a streetlight. The pack crossed all the way to the far side of a bridge, answering a riddle asked by a troll to gain passage only to hit a Back Check and have to cross the same bridge and get quizzed by the same troll again. We plunged deep into an ancient forest and followed an endless winding path. Woodland creatures waved from the shadows and an enchanted tree even pointed Cuff Me in the direction of On-On. GML pulled half the pack over a vertical wall and immediately the trail led back down the other side of the wall. The second Beer Near was uncannily like a rave in our post-pandemic brains and the third Beer Near was uncannily like an On In. Nothing was real and yet, somehow, everything was.
In attendance was: 2 Beds 1 Nightmare, Roadside ASSistance, HeadShart, Sgt. Snatch Snitch, Down Down on the Brown Brown, Where’s My D?, Highway Whore, Me Shrub You Longtime, Slippery Prick, EDM, Gay Matthews Lamb, Wheels on the Bus go DownDownDown, Poly Pocket, Cuff Me the Vampire Player, 60K9, Just Adam, Bread Dicks Bread Dicks Everywhere, BonerTown, and Music to my Tears