Location: Good Dog Bar
Hares: Silence of the Goats
What: Philadelphia Full Moon Hash Got Balls
Me! Cuff Me the Vampire Slayer (slackers)
I know what you’re thinking as you click this link. Why did I have to get so drunk on the Thursday hash I had to miss this! What kind of once in a lifetime adventures did I miss out on? What inside jokes will I not get the next hash? Well, tuck in my lazy cums-latelys, this was not a hash to have missed.
So there I was all comfy, drinking a beer on my friend’s back porch when I suddenly remember… it’s the Full Moon Hash!! I quickly jumped in an Uber and watched time quickly tick by as we crawl our way towards center city. Finally we get close enough and I jumped out into traffic yelling what I hope was an appreciative goodbye to my perplexed driver. Hustling to the bar I made it to the third floor and it was all worth the effort. Surveying the room I knew we were in for an epic night.
The pack chilled in the bar for a while before realizing we probably should, you know, do trail? Our illustrious hare, Silence of the Goats, set out to lay trail with the hash close behind. The trail was at a pace never before experienced in the hash with twists and turns no hasher could have prepared for.
The pack started strong though and before long we came along the BN. Unfortunately the space had been compromised with security guarding the street and aiding the confused locals with PPA’s confusing technology. Silence of the Goats attempted to bribe them with libations but their morals were too high. We quietly tucked our beers away and slunk off to a less judgy corner to enjoy them like a true hash beer should be enjoyed. Warm and in an alley full of dumpsters. But it wasn’t all trash and fabulousness. There was also an educational component as the hashers learned some local history of the women’s rights movement, because yo, we smart.
But that got boring real fast and off we went… for like a few blocks. Stopping suddenly the pack perked up. Was that…. Someone singing? The sweet sound of beers being opened? A dark doorway leading to what will probably be a night not remembered? SOLD! Tucking ourselves into the corner with some hard earned beers we got comfy as we waited for LIVE BAND KARAOKE*. And that siren must have been quite powerful because before long the pack was joined by some starry-eyed autohashers – Shup and Fuck, Sex Toys for Tots, AssAssination, Just Gabriel, and Parks and Masterbation
Okay, technically there wasn’t circle, because we never quite find the exit that night…. (We’re actually all still here, I’m writing this from the bathroom -send help!!). BUT! If there had been I’m pretty sure these would have been featured:
- Silence of the Goats commended for her excellent performance, putting the siren to shame
- Sex toys for Tots for trying to compare this physique to a bronze statue in the corner?
- Just Gabriel was commended for, let’s be real, not being too scared of us the night before and actually coming back?
- Tech dudes for not knowing how to make the karaoke work. Like, you had one job
And probably others, but I can’t stay in this bathroom forever. Wish us luck!!
*Are you curious where this magical place is that has live band karaoke?? Well I guess you should have come out to hash…. (Also, I like, absolutely don’t remember what this place is called, even though I’ve been there several times before).