July 5, 2018
Location: guppies (aka. Satan's armpit)
Hares: Spare my Finger & AssAssination
What: BFM #751
Bas Ram Him
May I Cum on Ya
Shop N' Fuck
Tits of Steel
Cuff Me the Vampire Player
International House of Virgins
Seaman on the Poopdeck
Sex Toys for Tots
Condum Fuck Sister (???)
Let me start by saying our fearless Hareraiser finally did something right- bringing us back to the best neighborhood in Philly. But, despite the many options of South Philly, somehow managed to pick the one bar with no air conditioning? And so began the sweatiest night of my life involving clothed people.
We circled up so Baa Ram Him could walk our brave virgins Just Megan and Just Reggie through the signs of the night (with some "helpful" suggestions from Slothy Seconds) and we were on-out.
Well, until we got lost, immediately. But worry not, we finally found a mark and we were off. This sweaty, long trail brought us by many historic Philly sites- which was apparently a little confusing for some Hashers who might need to explore their home city? Also a fountain which Tits of Steel zeroed in on and didn't even pause before climbing into, to the bemused horror of the park-goers. And finally the trail split, turkeys to the right.
Honestly, a little unclear who it was... But there were four of us! I want to say Sex Toys for Tots, Seaman on the Poopdeck, and international House of Virgins, but if I'm wrong about that, too bad. This shit is official.
Regardless, our trail was fairly uneventful as these three were so sure they knew where the BN was... enter us completely ignoring trail and walking to some fancy building (y'all, there was security). After being turned away by security (guessing it was the jorts) we continued to wander. International House of Virgins and Seaman on the Poopdeck eventually abandoned us and by some miracle we did manage to wander upon the BN and our lovely hares, Spare my Finger and AssAssination.
I wasn't there, but from what I can tell, it went something like this (see pictures below)
Eventually everyone trickled into the BN where we all cooled down with some beers, champagne, and ice pops. Slothy Seconds led the group in a heated debate of Prince Vs. Michael Jackson while Shop n' Fuck basked in the many 'compliments' on his jorts. But the heat was real and the group proceeded on-in with what I will refer to as an enthusiastic amble.
Back at the bar (which was somehow hotter, literally the floor was sweating) the remaining Hashers circled up. One of the three autohashers (I blame the beer, the notes are getting questionable over here) was called out for inviting Just Megan to her virgin hash and then not actually showing up for the hash? All the none jort wearers were also called out for their attire at one of the chafe-iest themes of the hash. And... a bunch of others I didn't record/ can't read.
Seriously- who let me be an on-sec?edit.