Cuff Me the Vampire Player
Cause for Blindness
Baa Ram Him
Music to My Tears
Jewels of Duh Nile
Everything Butt Sex
Me Shrub You Long Time
Tits of Steel
Not In My Hair
Knights of the Poundtable (me!)
Pounded in the Can
Arriving 1 minute past 8:00, fashionably late, I quickly gave out hugs and whipped out my Handy Dandy Notebook (where’s my red chair?). As a first time on-sec, it was a joy to be a creep and to have an excuse to be as such...and to scribble down the debauchery that ensues while we're running with medicinal poison running through our veins :D
Everything Butt Sex led a rusty chalk talk after a vacation in the nethers of an unknown land overseas. No virgins.. however, one notorious visitor decided to grace us with his presence.. the one and only Baa Ram Him, who was quickly ejected from circle NOT because he's an OG, but probably because Butt Sex was just too flustered by his grace and beauty.
We descended into the Southern Lands of Philly..into the cold night with nothing but our (dim)wits and a few headlamps. Check after check and maybe a song check, we turned onto a very dark bike trail where people go to get dead or have a good time. Luckily we were there for the latter. Groundhog, as our noble GM, tried to guide us all with his mighty beacons of light donning not one, but TWO headlamps. Rather than guide us, he triggered epilepsy and blinded us all. Trying to put Cause out of business? We all know that's impossible.
We quickly arrived at the BN and were met by the dynamic duo:
RUBBER RIPPER and POUNDED IN THE CAN (yaaaay for a fellow Pound)
We downed delicious beer in the frigid cold. AssAss transformed into a red-eyed cyclops in the night with the only headlamp remaining on. Music had maybe one too many beers and began complimenting what seemed to be an ordinary trashcan. Cause revealed to us one of her many hidden fetishes: she likes da armpits.. the sweatier the better. Keep your deodorant close.. or don’t ;). After stargazing at a clear night sky, we decided to head out. But first, an oreo sandwich cuddle puddle to soften our diamondesque nips.
The green band was flying left and right.. no one could be trusted. Just Eliza performed some impressive matrix to avoid the curse that is the green band. She asked a billion questions about the ways of our shenanigans.. I’m slightly convinced she’s a secret agent spy.
We arrived at the SN at a park somewhere in South Philly. Jefferson Square? Dickinson Square? Hell if I can remember (I’m also terrible with directions). We enjoyed a warm, delicious, yet mysterious brown cocktail that was deemed to be diarrhea that reminded us of Christmas. Because who isn’t reminded of Christmas while sipping on diarrhea? Anywho… Onnnn Onnnnn
Jewels was put in charge of sweeping while simultaneously getting banded..he was determined for revenge. A couple checks and a true trail later, we were ON-IN back to our sanctuary. Songs were sung and accusations flew in circle. Baa Ram Him, called into circle for visiting, paraded around circle with his snake and buns in tow. My notes were illegible after that because I was so gobsmacked.