Social distance has not historically been a trademark of the hash, but sacrifices have been made for the safety of you wankers. (Because we truly love all of you!) To that end the trail was dead laid and open to any willing to brave it solo, or for double-arm's length packs at 1pm and 6pm. It is unknown if any solo hashers attempted and survived trail (Has anyone heard from 3Balls?), but the early start was tackled by Jug Stain, Under the Siege, and their fair and feisty spawn Squishy and Ice Ice Baby. There was some tortoise play and certainly more shenanigans as well.
The late start, albeit still early for the BFM, began just before 6 when Shrub found excellent parking for the day's bag car and wandered into the square to pre-lube. The next to arrive was none other the 2Beds 1Nightmare who realizing he had 20 minutes left to spare made the most rac*ist decision to take off immediately to acquire a "couple" more miles for distance week. Thankfully, Shrub was not alone for long as Cuff Me arrived followed shortly by Groundhog Lay, Just April, 60K9, Wheels on the Bus Go Down Down Down, Music to My Tears, her virgin Just Martin, and Gay Matthew's Lamb. The normal (never normal) pre-trail discussion consisted largely of Zoom etiquette experiences, a discussion of the most offensive movie clips, and Groundhog's friend who is writing a letter a day to Gov Cuomo in an attempt to reopen gym's in NY (I mean if it worked for Andy Dufresne's Shawshank prison library...then why not?). Following 2Bed's return and a quick facebook check for late cummers we decided to get on with it.
Chalk talk began with a review of the normal marks and a reminder that Tits laid trail on roller skates...wait, she laid trail on roller skates? Yes, on ROLLER SKATES! What could go wrong...at least we can be sure of no shiggy. The packed headed on out towards the river and around a curve away from a playground where hold on...where is half the pack? Five hounds went almost immediately NO-NO, but whatever, we'll see them again in the middle right? The remainder of our already small group found the correct trail (at least we thought so) and navigated across the river towards Franklin Field...missed a check and had to sniff back to find the way. We were led down a no pedestrian access road (again she did this on roller skates!) around Penn Medicine and were witness to many health care heroes donning masks and the liftoff of a life-flight helicopter. At this point our blood was pumping, we were not at all nervous about exposure so close to the hospital workers, and we were thirsting for an impromptu beer near as we exited the medical center area and headed towards the main Penn campus. It's college, so there must be beer available somewhere right?
Alas, my fellow hounds, we did not find beer. We did however find the other half of our pack who had truly done the end of trail backwards. After barely any discussion, it was decided that trail had been accomplished by the group and we would ON-IN directly from there seeing as Tits might have underestimated the impact of rolling resistance on mileage. But hey, she did great benefit for the BFM in Mayor's Cup distance week! The last couple of masked miles were accumulated at a leisurely pace while Just Martin enjoyed his nuts (he had apparently squirreled them away for just this occasion). The pack made it back to Fitler Sq to find Statutory Consent and the suspiciously of-age Just Shane for an impromptu BN out of Shrub's cooler. With our thirst quenched the pack disbanded to return to a digital existence and a circle via Zoom.
We are deliberately returning to the world fellow hashers! This trail was so shitty it almost felt normal and it is wonderful to at least see half of your faces from as close as six feet. Until next time...ON-ON!